MENOMORPHOSIS

#106: Thriving in Midlife with Tania Dalton

• Polly Warren • Episode 106

Share episode

This week, I’m delighted to welcome Tania Dalton—health coach, certified personal trainer, and meditation teacher—to MENOMORPHOSIS! Together, we explore how midlife can be a golden opportunity to redefine ourselves, let go of societal expectations, and embrace the freedom and vitality this transformative phase brings.

✨ In this episode, we discuss:

  • How midlife challenges can become empowering opportunities.
  • Tanya’s inspiring story of completing an Ironman during a pandemic.
  • Redefining beauty as vibrant energy and vitality beyond appearances.
  • The surprising power of midlife “invisibility” to reshape identity and purpose.
  • Practical tips for nurturing health: nutrition, movement, sleep, and mindfulness.
  • The joy of embracing curiosity over judgment and creating a life you love.

Tanya shares her personal journey, including navigating grief, menopause, and self-acceptance, offering actionable strategies for thriving in midlife. 

From crafting a lifestyle that prioritises well-being to celebrating our evolving selves, this episode is packed with wisdom and inspiration to help you stress less, shine more, and unleash your inner brilliance!

To find out more about Tania:

tania@beautifulmidlife.com
https://beautifulmidlife.com/
https://www.instagram.com/taniadalton/?hl=en

Book your FREE Inner Space session at pollywarren.com/theinnerspace and discover the calm clarity you’ve been craving. 

To find out more about my membership The Inner Space go to: https://www.pollywarren.com/theinnerspace

Email me at: info@pollywarren.com
https://www.pollywarren.com/
https://www.instagram.com/pollywarrencoaching/

Polly:

Are you like me, riding the rollercoaster of midlife and menopause and eager to live the life you've always wanted? Are you tired of low energy, a short temper and endless self-doubt? Well, it's time to stress less and shine more. It's time to ditch the worry, reclaim your mojo and unleash your inner brilliance. It's never too late to take charge of your health and happiness, and you're certainly not too old and, in my opinion, midlife and metaphors provide the perfect opportunity to do just that. Join me each week for inspiring stories and expert insights on how to feel as good as you can, so that you can create a joyful, purpose-driven life you truly love. So, when you're ready, let the beautiful menamorphosis begin. Hello, hello and welcome back to Menomorphosis. Thank you so much for joining me and I hope you enjoyed last week's episode, which was all about me explaining what I've been doing, since I had a bit of a break from doing recording episodes for this podcast, but now I am back and I must admit I haven't quite got into my stride yet in 2025 because I have been so lucky and privileged to just come back from a four-day skiing trip. There was a group of 19 of us. We went to the Alps, stayed in a beautiful chalet to celebrate two good friends' 50th birthday. It was so much fun, and before that I was in Thailand for a couple of weeks with my family over Christmas. So I haven't quite got into this year yet when it comes to work, and I was on the verge of feeling really guilty about that. But actually I had a big word with myself. I had to squash that straight away Because actually throughout my life I have always pushed very hard to succeed. I've always been someone who's done more than they had to at work, particularly when I was a teacher. The job was done. I always over delivered. I then had my own tuition business again. I just always was working because I was learning what it's like to have your own business. It's very hard to to uh, to stop because there's always something to do. And now, creating the current business which I have, I have also tendencies to just want to do more, more, more, more and push, push, push. However, this year I am really feeling into ease and flow and I have been discovering at the end of, towards the end of last year that the more I really focus on enjoying what I'm doing and just allowing things to happen in a way which feels good. The better job I do, firstly, and the better I feel about it. And so when I started to feel guilty that I wasn't doing enough and actually having time to myself to spend with friends, spend with my family, I actually was like you know what I am not going to feel guilty about that, because this is a great way to start 2025. I am now so ready to get stuck in because I feel so, I feel so good, I feel like I've really had the best time. So, that said, I I'm ready to go, I'm raring to go, and actually all of that fits really nicely into the conversation which you're about to listen to.

Polly:

I speak to the brilliant Tanya Dalton, who, all the way from Australia. Tanya's an accredited health coach, she's a certified personal trainer, she's a menopause trainer, meditation teacher and she's finished an Ironman, which I'm completely in awe of, whilst in the middle of menopause as well, may I add. But one thing which Tanya and I talk about is exactly this. Add but one thing which Tanya and I talk about is exactly this is that we, for so long, push and strive for more in a way that actually isn't particularly enjoyable.

Polly:

If you have a family, then also, you know you're doing everything for everybody else, but actually now is the time to really start being kind to yourself, to truly enjoy what you're doing. So we talk about that plus a load, more particularly about redefining midlife redefining what beauty means to you and how this stage of life is an incredible opportunity to become the best version of yourselves, and just accepting that we are ageing. We're all going to age and actually we might need to do things a little bit differently, but we need to accept that this is happening, which I think many of us are very scared to do. So, without further ado, please welcome the absolutely wonderful Tanya Dalton. The absolutely wonderful Tanya Dalton. I'm very excited to be talking today to Tanya Dalton, all the way from Melbourne, australia. Thank you for joining Menomorphosis this morning. Tanya, hello and welcome.

Tania:

Thanks, polly. I'm really excited to be speaking with you today because I just I love everything you're about and I feel like it's kind of, you know, we're very aligned and it's nice to you know speak to people that kind of have the same ideas but slightly different as well. So I'm sure I'll learn something from you today.

Polly:

Oh well, thank you. I honestly I find it so amazing that we are talking so it's 6am my time, 5pm your time, on the other side of the world, and yet we're so aligned in our thoughts about midlife and getting older and aging. So I'm very excited to dive into our conversation today. So a good place to start, I think, tanya, is for you just to tell the listeners a little bit about you and to tell us, you know, where are you at currently in your life?

Tania:

Sure, so I'm 56. I've been post-menopausal for around four to five years now and I'm currently a midlife women's health coach. I work mostly with women over 50. I've been a registered personal trainer for 30 years now as well, and I've just actually finished studying meditation and mindfulness for the last couple of years as well. So just trying to bring all of that in in my work to help kind of women my age to feel like they're thriving and not just surviving, I think it's such a it can be such a challenging time and I had my own challenges as well. So that's why I'm so passionate about helping other women to. You know, just feel great in this time of life and look at things a little differently, I suppose. I suppose I'm really passionate about challenging the stereotypes as well.

Polly:

Yes, I love that. So, in terms of the challenges that you had in your own life, can you just tell us a little bit more about them? And was there a moment where you suddenly thought, right, this has got to change. And what was that moment?

Tania:

My dad died when he was 47 of a heart attack. So that's when I became a trainer, became really invested in looking at health and wellness and throughout my so that was in my mid-20s, 20s, 30s I kind of thought I was leading this really healthy life and I kind of was in some ways. I exercised and ate quite well, but I neglected things like sleep and stress management. I worked in a corporate environment as well, in a law firm, where it was kind of, you know, a bit of a badge of honour to be able to work through the night, nights and nights on in Back in the, you know, 80s, 90s, it was kind of a thing. And I kind of got to this perimenopause time and all of a sudden I was just not coping at all. It was like it was just this roller coaster, as you know, it's the same for many women and really really struggling.

Tania:

And I was working as a personal trainer then early mornings and just not sleeping well. Although I'd never prioritised sleep, I'd be able to just go to sleep, you know, in a flash whenever I wanted to. This time I'm actually, you know, lying awake and severe insomnia, severe night sweats, so bad that I was changing my clothes and sometimes bed linen three times a night and all of these things, and I'd go to doctors and I go, something's not right. This is a disaster. I can't go on like this. And numerous times I was offered antidepressants. I go, I'm not depressed, I am distressed about this, I'm angry about it. I don't know what's going on, but I just kind of couldn't work it out. And I thought I kind of knew a bit about perimenopause, I'd been quite proactive about it. But the people I'd gone to a specialist clinic but they hadn't really explained, you know, what I'd be going through. I suppose I'm more interested in people who were already kind of in a disease state, if that makes sense. They weren't really looking at. They looked at me and think you're fine, you know, you've got no problems at all. I wasn't overweight, I didn't have any health conditions and they kind of just fogged me off, I suppose.

Tania:

So I really really struggled and I also think I, maybe subconsciously, was fighting this menopausal stage of my life because you know, menopause had always meant getting old. My nan, who died when she was 90, I can remember her talking about menopause in her 50s like it was the end of the earth and the change she used to call it, and it sounded horrible and I think, and you know, looking at my nan in her 50s compared to me in my 50s, it's a completely different kind of thing. You know, back then and you know her and her. You know floral dresses and I'm just I'm not saying it's anything from floral dresses, but you know what I mean. She looked old, she seemed like an old lady and maybe my kids think I look like an old lady now.

Tania:

So I was thinking I was subconsciously fighting this. You know change as well, which just did not serve me. I'm just like. You know, the worse things got, the harder I fought and it was just not serving me at all. It caused all sorts of problems. I decided to do an Ironman triathlon in the middle of it all as well. Wow.

Polly:

Which was worse.

Tania:

I was like it's just the worst thing you could probably do to a body that's trying to adjust to this major hormonal shift. Just the throwing, you know, 3.8k soon, 180k cycle and a marathon as well on top of all of that. So it was kind of like a really, really hard time for me. But I'm really happy to say that I have come out the other end probably healthier than I've ever been before. I've. You know, I've now listened to my body instead of fighting it. Just a whole lot of things have changed through that process and I always say it was kind of like one of the most challenging times of my life but also one of the best, because, you know, it's allowed me to kind of emerge into this new stage of life, just feeling better, being healthier, and I think it's an amazing time of life, and I know it is you know there's lots of challenges and I completely understand that an amazing time of life. I know there's lots of challenges and I completely understand that, but also just an opportunity to do things a little differently.

Polly:

Yeah, thanks for sharing that. I mean, I can relate to so much of that, by the way, particularly those night sweats. They were just horrendous. I mean, my night sweats started when I was sort of in my early 40s and I just had no idea what was going on there. It's like what is this? The bedroom's cool, the windows are open, it's not working, but it's interesting, isn't it what you were saying? You know you had A lot of stress obviously going on at that point, particularly with all the exercise. I mean that's stressing your body out fully. You were. Were you working as a PT then at that time in terms of your career?

Tania:

Yeah, I was early mornings and evenings and it just didn't work. I ended up giving it up, basically, and I look back now and I'd realised that the reason I gave it up was because of menopause, but at the time I didn't even recognise that and that again, I'm also a menopause workplace educator as well and I hear it so many times. People you know give up their corporate careers, for example, and wake up five years later and go, oh my goodness, I think it was because of menopause. But at the time when you're in this absolute you know debacle of what's going on and not realizing and kind of me being in denial and things like that as well, you don't recognize that those you know that's impacting your life so much.

Polly:

So, yeah, exactly and I wonder also just hearing from what you were saying about how your dad sadly died when he was only 47, the impact that that might also have had, because I have heard that grief and that trauma from that grief can really stay with you as well and that also can impact ultimately how you experience menopause further down the line. So I wonder, you know I mean there's so many different parts of it, I know but all of these parts which come together at that time in your life actually make the experience what it is.

Tania:

Yeah, yeah, I've never thought about it that way, but there definitely was a bit of a correlation, because you know when I basically was, probably, you know, I was probably in perimenopause before I even knew it. But 47 was when I started experiencing symptoms and that's when I decided to do my first ever marathon that I've been trying, I've been dreaming of doing for 30 years, and I thought, oh my God, I'm 47, just about to turn 47, the same age my dad was when he died. I'd better get moving if I'm going to do something like this. So again here I am putting my body under this stress while I'm going through perimenopause.

Tania:

But I felt you know this sense of urgency and I think, at this time of life as well, I'm not sure what, how you feel about this, but you really are faced with your own mortality. Like, realistically, you know, at least half of my life is over and you kind of get this sense of urgency that you've got to do all of these things before it's too late. And add on that the fact that my dad died when he was 47, it really like I knew he was young, but when you're in your 20s, 47 kind of seems a bit old, if you know what I mean. But when you're 47, it seems so young. So it was a real big kind of hit to me as well that I was kind of coming to terms with all of that as well at the same time.

Polly:

And, yeah, definitely an impact, impact yeah, it's so interesting because I, when I was, when I saw that you ran your first marathon at 47 and then you did your first Ironman at 52, it made me chuckle, because I did my first marathon when I was 49, so a couple of years ago, and I was thinking, but do I want to do an Ironman? Nah, I, I don't think. So I think I can leave that, because that's a totally different kettle of fish altogether. An Ironman is very, very difficult. I mean well done, congratulations on doing that particularly in the midst of all of this.

Tania:

I know, and then COVID as well. I did it in the middle of COVID. I actually even did the race. I had to escape Melbourne. We had some of the worst lockdown rules in the world and I had to escape Melbourne um to do the race. So none of my family was there as well. I was there completely by myself and I did even the training.

Tania:

Look, we were. We had this thing during lockdown where we weren't allowed to go more than five kilometers from our house. So when you're training for an Ironman, trying to train for 180k ride, that means there's a lot of riding in your house and it is horrendous. It is like I cried an awful lot while I was doing that training, but I also think as bad as it was and as not intelligent as it was trying to do that to my body while I was going through this. Now that I've done that and doing it in that time in COVID during menopause, I feel like I can do anything if that makes sense. It showed me that you are capable of so much more than you can ever ever imagine, and that is some of the benefits of this kind of tumultuous time that I went through is that I've come out feeling like I'm actually really capable of doing things, and you know it's really.

Tania:

Your mind is so powerful.

Polly:

Yeah, I mean confidence, empowerment. It all comes from evidence, doesn't? It all comes from those moments where you totally surprise yourself that you are much, much more capable than possible. Love it. Okay, let's talk a little bit about working with women over 50. So you've obviously come to this point in your life. You're now post-menopause and you're all about celebrating midlife and life after menopause, and I loved what you say about how your biology is no longer designed to reproduce or nurture others. So can you just explain a little bit more about what you mean by that is nurturing? Because I think we all know right, it's not about reproducing.

Tania:

Yeah, do you know what I really feel? I feel that, you know, pre-puberty I was this very, you know, I had all these dreams and things and you know, obviously you haven't been squashed by the reality of life at that time of life, you know that time and but I really was impacted a lot by my hormones through my reproductive years. Like you know, I kind of struggled a bit with PMT and things. I feel like I had this big desire to reproduce for some reason, you know, because that's how we designed, I suppose. And losing my hormones, you know, my reproductive hormones and menopause, I feel like it's a gift.

Tania:

Like you know, a lot of people talk about it being a negative and you've got to try to replace them, but honestly, any day I would say I am so happy I don't have those hormones because I do not having that not that need to, you know, that feel to reproduce and with the nurturing you know, obviously my kids are still the most important things in my life, but they're a bit older now.

Tania:

My youngest son's just finished secondary school. So I feel like I've got this bit of freedom as well and now I think it's my time. I feel like I've spent all of these years being a mother, being a carer, caring about everyone else and, you know, being impacted by my hormones and also those monthly fluctuations. Not having those monthly fluctuations is such an amazing thing, like I feel like I've got this stability throughout my months and years that I've never, ever experienced since I was prepubescent, and that is a really powerful thing to you know, to have. And, yeah, I always say yeah, I don't, I don't want those hormones back. I love this kind of stage of life.

Polly:

Yeah, yeah, for anyone listening, I think it's really good to know that on the other side of it all, it can be amazing. It can be so empowering and liberating, and I think this is what we need to hear more of, because the societal narrative is generally, when you get to a certain age, particularly as a woman, you are done, nobody wants you, you're, you no longer reproduce, your purpose is done. We have such a bad rap in terms of the image that is portrayed of midlife women, and so it is more and more and more important that we just keep celebrating the fact that, yes, this is such a freeing time and it really is about reframing, redefining what a midlife woman means to you. And, yeah, I love what you talk about in terms of how you define beauty at midlife.

Tania:

Yeah, yeah, I think you know. For me now, you know, beauty is so much more than just what we look like. It's our essence, it's our vitality, it's our energy and all of that kind of stuff.

Tania:

And you know, I also think as well like I. Actually, I find that, you know, people talk about invisibility a lot and I actually relish that invisibility, like I was talking to someone the other day about when I went for a job in my 20s and my boss wasn't allowed to meet me until I actually got the job because he might have been influenced by the way I looked and that is a detriment. I know some people might think, you know, like it's okay to look okay, and I almost wasn't saying I was like amazing or anything. But you know, no one's, no one's going to be not meeting me now, if you don't mean because of yeah, yeah, yeah, I see, I used to see.

Tania:

I used to feel like I had to work harder because I didn't want to be. You know, thought of as that I was being promoted because of the way I looked. If that makes sense now, I don't want to be. You know, thought of as that I was being promoted because of the way I looked. If that makes sense Now, I don't have to worry about that Now.

Tania:

I like this invisibility. I like being able to, you know, go under the radar and just step into my power and not have to worry so much about you know what I look like, and of course I say that as well. Of course I care what I look like, I like to look nice and things like that, but it's not.

Polly:

You know, it doesn't define me and it's so good it's. It's another powerful thing, I think it's. It's a great. It's amazing that we shine from within and, if you can, as long as you're looking after yourself, as long as you feel good about yourself, it's a real opportunity to really feel comfortable in your own skin and just radiate that outwards. And I think think we forget that, that we're all energy ultimately, so we feel each other's energy more. So if you are radiating it from the inside out, then that is what people remember, more than necessarily how you look.

Polly:

Also, I love what you're saying about how menopause is often seen as a time where we lose so much. We lose our identity, we lose our hormones. It's a time of negativity and actually we gain so much. As you said, we gain more vitality in a way, because we don't have to think about reproducing, attracting a mate. All those things aren't hormones naturally create for us. Instead, it's like right, let's just become the best version of ourselves. It's time to focus in on us and think about how we can grow and transform to be the person we can be. So yeah, let's talk some practical stuff, tanya.

Polly:

So in terms of so I'm just thinking about the person who's listening to this now going yeah, it's all right for you to say that You're feeling great. I'm actually feeling pretty rubbish about it. I've got no energy, I'm super stressed and I always go on about how stress is probably one of the hidden, silent factors that we tend to ignore, because we all are so good at just pushing on through. So we're really stressed and I am not looking forward to aging. I don't want to age. So what would you say to that person?

Tania:

Yeah, and I think this is a really big thing. I think a lot of people say to me you know, I'm doing everything I used to do and nothing is working, and I go. Well, that's because you know what Our body has changed. Our biology has changed during menopause and we're also aging and so we can't stay the same. We're always changing, we're always evolving, and what worked 10 years ago obviously it's not going to work now, and you know, I think we have to. Obviously it's not going to work now, and you know, I think we have to first of all get our head around that, because we can kind of get very stubborn. We'll go. You know I'm just doing everything the same and we need to go. Okay, maybe we need to do things a little differently.

Tania:

The other thing I think, for myself as well and a lot of the people I work with, is that you know, we have to come to terms with the fact that we are aging. You know, sometimes we do want to put our head in the sand and go no, not happening to me. I'm going to push harder, I'm going to work harder, I'm going to. You know, I'm going to fight this, and that's exactly what I did and generally it's. You know you're going to be fairly unsuccessful if you keep fighting because, as you said, it creates more stress and it's not just you know.

Tania:

Obviously I had exercise stress, I had emotional stress. I had all of this kind of stress coming into my life and it did not serve me. And I always say as well that our bodies are so much less tolerant now as an older, you know woman than it maybe was as a younger woman. So we kind of have to really listen to it. And because it is telling us what it needs I think that's what happened to me during the menopause process is that it was telling me I just was not listening, I was refusing to listen. And when I did start to listen, that's when everything started changing, when I realised that, although you know, sleep is much more challenging when you go through menopause and as you age, you are in control of a lot of the things that you can do. You can work on your sleep hygiene, you can work on, you know, getting morning light in your eyes and all of those kind of things.

Tania:

So we are actually a lot more in control of many things than we think we are. I think, and with that as well, just realizing that you know, you don't have to make major, major changes to make a big difference. There's a whole lot of little things you can do that can add up to create this big change. But they don't have to be restrictive, they don't have to be extreme, and that's kind of what I try to get across with all the work I do is that, you know, life is meant to be enjoyed. We're not supposed to be killing ourselves at the gym all the time and, um, you know, only eating perfectly healthy food. Life is meant to be enjoyed and you can. You know, by doing a lot of little things, it can create this amazing healthy lifestyle that's still also fun and enjoyable. I think I've gone off track there.

Polly:

I can't even remember what you actually yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no okay, there's a few things in there I would like to pick up on. So firstly, yes, this it's almost like radical acceptance of aging, which we all none of us really want to face, but it's the reality, it's going to happen, whatever. We can't do anything about it. So let's just accept that it's going to happen and then take responsibility for that rather than ignoring it. If we ignore it, then, yes, we are going to just not do the things that our body's crying out for us to do. So, yeah, taking responsibility is absolutely key and it is this listening to ourselves which I think is these days.

Polly:

We've all lost that connection with ourselves for various reasons and, as you know, as we've talked about, it's so easy just to push, push, push on through through life, particularly if you've had a family. You are being pulled in that direction. We've been pulled in our direction with our careers. We're just so bloody busy, we've all just been so busy for so long, and midlife is a real melting pot for everything to come together. Parents are getting older, all of the things. So, yes, it's hard, but it is an opportunity and we keep using this word opportunity because it is. It's an opportunity to really take stock and take control of what is going on. So we need to find that connection with ourselves, to understand ourselves, because then, when you've done that, you can actually go.

Polly:

Okay, right, this isn't working anymore. Going and pounding on the treadmill for half an hour in the gym, that's not working anymore for me. Perhaps I need to look at something else. And I love how you're saying about yes, it needs to be enjoyable because let's not add more stress to our lives. So what are some of those little things, tanya, you talk about, which you introduced to people you work with?

Tania:

Yeah Well, basically it's. Can I just say one other thing actually?

Tania:

There's one other thing that I think is really important is that you know, most women probably 95 at 99%, people that I speak with their bodies do change during menopause and I think we also need to have some acceptance of that as well is that when we went through puberty, we're never going to tell our daughters that it's not okay to get hips and breasts, but for some reason, when we go through menopause it's not okay to get a little bit of a stomach thing.

Polly:

So I just I don't get that.

Tania:

I think we really need to be kind to ourselves.

Polly:

Let's just talk about those changes which are going to happen, which do happen, which we don't like to think are going to happen, but do, and so if we can accept them, then actually it's like oh, this is okay. So obviously the body shape is one big part of that.

Tania:

Yeah, definitely like my. I used to think that's not happening to me and of course it did and it's taken it. It was hard, like Like I'm I, you know, really struggled as a personal trainer. I'm thinking, oh my God, I can't tell people what to do. I don't even know what to do. Nothing, you know, nothing's working and I've had to come to some acceptance that you know.

Tania:

My body has changed. I do have a bit more of a tummy. I have got some back fat now and do you know what? Perhaps I could get rid of all of that and I could have this amazing body. But am I prepared to do what it takes to get that? I don't think so, because I've got living to do. I don't want to. I don't want to be counting calories and macros and weighing my food and spending my whole life at the gym. I've got better things to do with my life. That doesn't mean that that's just my choice. It doesn't mean that it's not right for someone else, but personally for me, I've made the decision that I'm okay with a bit of a stomach. I'm okay that I've had to baby buy one size bigger clothes and I'm okay with that and that's my decision. That might not be the right decision for someone else.

Tania:

I suppose it's what I'm trying to say and things like the creepy skin. I thought no way I'm ever getting creepy skin. I've got creepy skin. It's like it's confronting when you wake up one day. Creepy skin, it's kind of like this kind of like wrinkledy skin like around my knees and all of that kind of stuff. It's just happened. This is kind of a newish thing for me. Um a few years, creepy skin yeah, I used to do that. Creepy skin is a thing it definitely is, and I've got it now and it's like, oh my god, is that really happening to me? You know, when you wake up one day in the mirror and you go aren't I 25 still? How did this happen?

Polly:

yeah, it's when it's when you do a downward dog and you suddenly look at your belly and your belly I mean I've had three massive babies. When you look at your belly and it's just hanging and it's like, oh gosh, there's nothing. You know, that is just my body. That is the sign that I've had my babies. And yeah, there's not. And yeah, creepy knees I've got those, yes, as well. When your knees suddenly get a little bit rinky. But, yes, you're right, what can, what can you do? You can either choose to hate it, fight it, feel miserable about it, or you can just reframe that and go. Okay, this is just part of it getting older and that's just. Then you can just let it go and you don't have to waste that time and energy worrying about it yeah, I always say that you know you can be beautiful in midlife.

Tania:

It just might look different than you know. Your body can look beautiful. It just might look different than what it what it was pre-menopause you know what I mean like it's different than what it looked like when I hit puberty and before puberty.

Tania:

That's just, it's just changed. But we, why do we hate our bodies so much at this time of life, when really it's just a different body and I think, when we can kind of see it as something that is still beautiful in its own way, then you know, maybe, maybe little tummies will be in one day, exactly, and it doesn't mean that you have to completely let go and then not care about how you look about still.

Polly:

You can still take great, you can still really look after yourself. And yeah, dress in a way that makes you feel good and celebrate your body.

Tania:

Yeah, but you just don't have to beat yourself up. Yeah, I've had to change my style of dressing a little bit and things like that, but it's kind of exciting because I now see this, as you know, again, this opportunity. It's an opportunity to kind of reinvent myself, like into this new era that I'm moving into, and I'm finding it's actually really good. I'm thinking I'm actually a grown-up woman now and you know, I don't want to be, I don't want to be my 20s anymore, my 30s or even my 40s, like I think I'm 40, so young, like now. I'm this kind of grown-up woman like the you know the orcas, who are the leaders of the pod. I'm like the leader now and I'm, and I'm, you know, kind of um, evolving into this new kind of identity and it's actually really good.

Tania:

And it took me a while, don't get me wrong. It took me a while to get there. I was, you know, I look back and I think, oh, my god, what were you doing wearing that? I was like that was my fight stage still. And now I've kind of moved on and I'm going yeah, now I'm this new person and I really am starting to relish it and find it exciting and yeah, no, that's what I want for other people as well.

Polly:

You know, we often talk about the fact that at midlife you care so much less about what everybody else thinks because you get to a certain point where you, like you, you just are who you are and you become happy with that. And I think when you can get to that point, that is so liberating Any tips, celebrating any tips which you feel uh could really help someone listening today to, to help them feel as as empowered and as good as possible at this stage I think there's a lot of said.

Tania:

There's a whole lot of little things you can do, and what I'm really passionate about is people finding what's right for them. You know, I can give someone the perfect exercise regime, the perfect nutrition plan or whatever, whatever, and the perfect mindfulness, you know process, and if it doesn't work for them, they're not going to do it and it's not going to be successful. So I'm really into just thinking, getting people to think about what works for them. Thinking about, for a start, finding you know why they want to be healthy, if they want, you know, their health, improve their health, their vision for their healthiest self, and that's going to be different for everyone again, and then starting to create these tiny little habits that you can build on. And I kind of work with um, four things so nutrition, uh, movement, sleep and mindfulness. And, like you said, you know, breathing is kind of, I suppose I put breathing into mindfulness. I think we have breathing into kind of a separate thing, but trying to find something each for a start, even something from each of those areas that you can work on for a start. So movement, even, like, I think, getting up in the morning and moving your body and getting out into the morning light is such an important thing to help reset your circadian rhythm, get the blood moving around your body. Get moving for the day sets you up for sleeping well at night, sets you up for a good day. Something is so simple, five minutes outdoors, and that can be like the catalyst for like a whole lot of other changes, because once you start, start one, then they can snowball and create others.

Tania:

With nutrition, I always talk about what can you add, not what can you take away. I'm so not into restricting or dieting. I'm more into you know what healthy foods can you add to your life that enhance your life. Not going away from this taking away. Let's add everything. Let's add things that you know make you feel good, what makes you feel good when you eat it. And if you, you know this, I also get that, if you've been eating less healthy for decades, because it could be like that, you know you wake up one day and you go oh my god, I can't even remember the last time I was felt healthy. Maybe it was when I was 22 or something like that. Um, obviously that's going to take time to change and it's just thinking about those tiny, tiny little things that you can do to make a change. So maybe that is, you know, having a salad twice a week for a start, something like that for lunch, instead of whatever else you know, some fried food or something like that. So starting tiny and just realizing that you know, if it took a while to get where you are now, it's going to take a while to create change as well. So, yeah, and then mindfulness.

Tania:

I suppose I'm really big on, you know, micro mindfulness, whether that is a one minute meditation or a couple of minutes of breathing, or if, if your meditation is going for a walk. What's your meditation? I always say find what your meditation is. You don't have to do. You know what the optimal thing is. If, if your meditation is having a cup of tea, then that's great. Find what works for you. And I think this you know, we've got to go away from all these rules and find. You know, everyone's unique and, particularly when you get to this age, you know we're the product of genetics, lifestyle, upbringing, decisions, many of them maybe not so great, it's just. You know what I've done in my life as well medical conditions, injuries, there's so much that makes up who we are now as a woman, a midlife woman. But you know, we're all going to want to operate differently and we're all going to, our bodies are going to operate differently, so we have to find what works for us yeah, it's all those small steps we take every day, consistently, that all add up.

Polly:

You don't have to have this massive radical change all in one go. It's all the little, all the little parts which all all come together. But it's a practice, it's not going to be an overnight thing, it's a continual practice, it's a way of living and which is why you've got to make it sustainable and you've got to make it work for you because, as we all know, we can all suddenly change our life around for a couple of weeks and be really motivated for a couple of weeks, but then the motivation goes and then you never, ever stick with it. So, yeah, I agree, we've got to just really think about things you can do which you are going to enjoy doing, and that's where the whole enjoyment part comes in. You've got to enjoy it.

Tania:

I think as well that we have to be kind to ourselves through this process as well. Like you know, there are stages of change. You know there's pre-contemplation, contemplation, and you'll you'll oscillate between them. It's just, that's just life. And I think a lot of people I work with they go into this thing going, oh, I've been bad if it didn't go that well. And you know what? No one's bad. We just we're human and we've got to stop being kinder to ourselves Like now is the time. If we're not going to do it now, when are we going to do it? Be kind to ourselves and, you know, realise that it is going to take time to create change and it's not linear, it's up and down and all over the place.

Polly:

Yeah, and just hanging on to those moments as well. I think when you are feeling good and you are getting, you're feeling the benefits of those changes, it's amazing and that can really help spur you on for the future. In terms of mindfulness, the mindfulness that you teach what barriers do you see are the most common with the people that you're working with? Because I think everybody understands nutrition and how important that is, and I think everybody understands how important it is to move our body and obviously sleep is important and that I know for a lot of people who are actually going through menopause is actually something which is very, very challenging. But what a lot of people I don't think understand enough of is this mindfulness element, because it's sort of we go yeah, yeah, yeah, that's all a bit rubbish because you can't feel the immediate results. So, yeah, I'm just interested in your experience of that because you can't feel the immediate results.

Polly:

So, yeah, I'm just interested in your experience of that. Yeah, do you know what I felt? The same as well.

Tania:

I thought I can't meditate, I'm too busy. My mind's too. You know I'm a pretty energetic person. Mindfulness was definitely not something I can do and again during menopause, I was prepared to try anything because what was going on was not working. So that's when I kind of got into meditation and just thinking, just doing like short meditations, learning to slow my breath during stressful moments, thinking about those things like, you know, nature is, being in nature can be such a great form of mindfulness and things like that.

Tania:

And I suppose then, not thinking that you have to do it for an hour, and one of the things that I think most people go is, you know, oh, I can't do that. You know, mindfulness this is this is the fully simplistic way that I look at it. It's really just learning to just calm your mind, slow your breath. It's that simple and we kind of over complicate it. We go well, if I'm not sitting there and I'm not not thinking about anything for an hour, then I've failed, and you know it's that simple and we kind of over complicate it. We go well, if I'm not sitting there and I'm not not thinking about anything for an hour, then I've failed, and you know, it's natural for thoughts to come in and go out, and when we kind of take away those barriers, it changes everything. We just go, you know, for a start, listen to a guided one or two minute meditation and even if you don't mind does wander, that's okay because that's kind of normal, that's part of meditation. And then gradually, the more you practice it, the more you do it, you do learn to kind of, you know, get into the moment a bit more slow your breath, all of those kind of things. It takes practice. It's like anything and the benefits I mean, as you would know, the benefits are so incredible.

Tania:

Even just when I was one of the part of the reasons I did it as well was when I was having my major major sleep issues during perimenopause. Even if I was just lying there trying to calm my breath and calm my mind, I knew that my body was in some kind of form of you know, a bit of restoration, much better than if I was up scrolling on my phone or something like that. And even if I couldn't sleep, if I could just be okay with that and just go, okay, well, I'm going to just do what I can to calm my body down, and at least it is, you know, as optimal as I could, even if I had insomnia, if that makes sense. And I suppose taking away the having to do it right and having to do it certain ways changed, it's changed my life and that's, I suppose, what I want to try to get across to people. You know, do it messy, it's just just start.

Polly:

Yeah, with all these things, do it messy. You don't have nothing, has nothing, has to be perfect. Something is better than nothing. Yeah, totally agree. Better than nothing. Yeah, totally agree. If you could give the listeners just one takeaway to help them feel as good as they can about midlife, about aging, what might that be? Tanya?

Tania:

do you know what I think? I think I was just talking about this today. I really think it's curiosity and I think it's something that we can kind of you know, decades, decades of life can get to you and you kind of lose that sense of curiosity and you know, kind of looking for things differently and stuff like that. You get stuck in your ways and I've been there myself and I still kind of can find myself going back to that. But if you can have this sense of curiosity and go, okay, so you know what's my body trying to tell me, okay, uh, what's you know, what's this trying to tell me? What's that trying to tell me, can I do things a little differently? Is this an opportunity? Or, you know, and is this the end or is this a new beginning?

Tania:

And having that sense of curiosity, I think, can change everything and it's something that I feel like many of us lose just because we've been doing, you know, the same old, same old for decades of our life. And it's completely understandable why we lose it. But you can get it back. And if you can get it back and, you know, have this answer new kind of in this new stage of life, then it opens up so much for us and, yeah, I think that is my number one tip and something that I have to still work on myself, but it's life-changing so, yeah, I love that, because curiosity, ultimately, is the opposite of judgment, and we're all so good at judging ourselves or judging others or judging a situation that when you can switch that on its head and look at that with curiosity, it's like oh okay, that's interesting.

Polly:

That's interesting is more of a more of an empowering way to look at something, rather than putting your judgment over, which is just going to get you into some sort of negative spiral. So, yes, love that, love that. So, yes, if you're listening, perhaps that's something you could really add in today. Just try and be a little bit more curious about how you're feeling, what you're thinking and, uh, and yeah, just right, try and reframe something negative into something which is a little bit more empowering for you. Tanya, I've loved, love, love, chatting to you this morning. Well, this afternoon for you, uh, thank you so so much for joining me. For anyone listening who'd like to find out more about you or get in touch with you, tell us where they can come.

Tania:

If we've got anything going on, um, which you'd like to tell them about, please do thank you, uh, so I'm at tanya dalton on Instagram, or my website is beautifulmidlifecom, and yeah, just pop over and I've got a few exciting things happening in 2025, all about women's energy and you know, I think we're on the same page with that. You know, when we can have more energy, it impacts our whole life and, yeah, I think it changes everything. And I suppose, just knowing that you know it is possible and we are so much again more capable than what we can ever imagine, and this is a time to just you know it's a time to thrive and you know it is possible. Sometimes it feels like you're just surviving, but you can thrive yeah, thank you so much.

Polly:

Yeah, it ultimately is about energy. It's one thing we all talk about, particularly as we go through challenging times. I've got no energy, I'm so tired, and if you can use all these small little tips and tools to regain that energy, that is what is going to boost you through this time of life and help you really, really enjoy it and thrive. So, yes, wonderful message. Thank you so much, tanya. So lovely to see you and thank you for joining me. Thank you, thank you so much for listening to Menomorphosis.

Polly:

I really hope you enjoyed this episode. Remember, if you did, can you please, please, please, rate and review this podcast and subscribe if you haven't already, because it does make such a big difference when people subscribe. It basically means that the podcast is going to be more visible to other people who may benefit from hearing it. If you would like to receive my weekly email, which I like to try and think of as a dose of inspiration every week, you can sign up for it at pollywarrantcom. Do come and follow me on Instagram at pollywarrantcoaching. I really do love to connect with you there, and if you want to sign up for a free breathwork session in the inner space, you'll find the link in the show notes. Have a wonderful week and remember if you can try and stress less, because if you do, you will absolutely most certainly shine more. Take lots of care, lots of love and see you next week. Bye.