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#118: How to Actually Do the Thing You Keep Putting Off

• Polly Warren

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We all have that thing.
The dream we keep shelving.
The habit we mean to start.
The goal that always seems just out of reach.

In this episode, we’re getting real about why it’s so hard to take action - and how to finally move past the procrastination and overwhelm that keeps us stuck.

I’m diving into the real power of consistency - not in the flashy, hustle-hard kind of way, but in the gentle, steady, sustainable way. The way that builds trust with yourself. The way that actually works.

You’ll hear personal stories, mindset shifts, and simple tools you can start using today to build momentum, even if your motivation is on the floor. Whether your goal is to get fit, start something creative, change careers, or just feel more like yourself again - this one’s for you.

If you’ve ever said,
 “I just don’t have time,”
 or
 “I’ll start on Monday,”
 this episode might just change everything.

This episode is about showing up, keeping it small, and creating real change - one step, one breath, one tiny habit at a time.

Download The Breath Check-Up - your FREE guide to understanding how well you're breathing right now.

Download my energising 5 Minute Morning Practice to get your day started in the best way possible.

To find out more about my membership The Inner Space go to: https://www.pollywarren.com/theinnerspace

Email me at: info@pollywarren.com
https://www.pollywarren.com/
https://www.instagram.com/pollywarrencoaching/

Speaker 1:

Are you, like me, riding the roller coaster of midlife and menopause and eager to get back to living your best life? Are you tired of low energy, a short temper and endless self-doubt? Well, it's time to stress less and shine more. It's time to ditch the worry, reclaim your mojo and unleash your inner brilliance. It's never too late to transform, and you're certainly not too old and, in my opinion, midlife and menopause provide the perfect opportunity to do just that. Join me each week for inspiring stories and expert insights on topics covering all things midlife, menopause and personal development. So when you're ready, let the beautiful menomorphosis begin. Hello, hello, and welcome back to Menomorphosis. How you doing? I hope you have had a fantastic week. If you're here in the UK, my goodness, we're being so spoiled with this April sunshine. It is so good.

Speaker 1:

Now, today, you've got me on my own and we're going to be talking about something which I know has helped me personally so so much in achieving my goals. And if I don't, if I say so myself, I think I'm pretty good at this kind of and it's not particularly sexy or something which is groundbreaking, but in my humble opinion, it is so, so important. Yes, actually, something which many of us really struggle with. Yup, we're talking about consistency. I'm going to be talking about those tiny everyday actions, you know, the ones that feel almost like they're nothing in the moment, but when you look back you realise in fact they were everything. So that's what we're going to dive deeper into today consistency. I really do believe it's a fundamental quality that underpins success in a lot of different areas of life.

Speaker 1:

Now, whenever I work with anyone, we always always start with the vision, with what the big goal is, and I try and get everyone who I work with to dream big and get really super clear then about what they really, really want. And that's actually really hard for a lot of us to do because, weirdly, we're actually so much better at knowing what we don't want rather than what we do. And I think part of that is because the moment we start thinking about making real change, our brains start to really freak out. It's kind of like, oh my goodness, that sounds like a huge amount of effort and I'd rather stay not doing it. I'd rather stay comfortable doing what I'm not actually doing, and that's like a really normal human response. It can feel a bit too much like hard work when we've got this big vision, this big goal, and so instead, what do we do? We procrastinate or we simply just don't bother even trying to get there, because it feels too much, it feels too overwhelming, and we get in our own way and end up convincing ourselves it's just not worth it. That has definitely felt familiar for me many times.

Speaker 1:

Now. It could be on anything, so it could be starting to get in shape after not having done much exercise for a while, or even try and lose some weight, or whether that's turning a passion into a side hustle. It might be writing a book or leaving a job you've been in for a while and starting something new. Whatever it might be, the first step always is to set yourself a goal. What is it you actually want? And even if we know it's most likely going to make our lives better, so often we put it off, don't we? Because it just feels too much. So in this episode, I want to give you some tools, or I just want to talk to this really and to help you get out of your own way and inspire you to do the things you've always dreamed of. So I think the trick is to look at your goal in a different way. We need to reframe it so that it feels less overwhelming. And that's where consistency really comes into its own, because we underestimate how much we can achieve by doing something really, really small and really, really consistently. Because when you break it right down, when you make the action so tiny, so small that you can't really tell yourself that it's too much, when you start taking very small actions, very consistently, that is how you make big changes in your life. So I really do think the key lies in reframing the perception of these challenges, with consistency serving as a powerful tool to make progress so much more manageable.

Speaker 1:

So let's forget about the grand sweeping actions. It's not about that. It's about the tiny little things that we do again and again and again. It's those small, everyday actions that create the big wins. So it's not about the scope of what we do. It's more about the consistency with which we do it. And there's a really good quote by Jim Rohn which I think sums up. He says to be successful, you don't have to do extraordinary things, you just need to do ordinary things extraordinarily well. I love that so much because we all think we've got to do extraordinary things. We don't. We've just got to be consistent, doing the ordinary things.

Speaker 1:

One thing I always say to myself is time is going to pass anyway, whatever we do. So either we can spend that 20 minutes, for example, scrolling on social media, wasting that time which, let's face it is so easy to do, or we can spend that 20 minutes working towards something that is actually going to improve our lives, get us closer to our goals, and we can. You know, I'm the best at it, I must admit, we can convince ourselves that we don't have the time, but we all do have the time. We've all got the same 24 hours a day. It's about what you do with that time. It's about prioritising our time to actually do the things we want to do, even at the time if it feels difficult. So it's about being honest with ourselves about what is truly important to us and maybe sacrificing something that really isn't that important, but in the moment it feels easier. So scrolling on social media really is a good example here, because, let's face it, we can all find time to scroll on Instagram. I certainly can, and before you know it, my goodness, 20 minutes, half an hour, it's gone. Yet somehow we're also constantly saying to ourselves or to other people I just don't have the time to do it.

Speaker 1:

So the first thing I would suggest you do is literally work out what is it that you actually want to do, what is your goal, what do you want? Because this is really the first step in clearly getting and defining what it is you want. Where do you want to be going in your life? So, whether that's adopting a healthier lifestyle, for example, starting a business, writing a book, book just understanding your objective is crucial. So really just start to think about that, you know, is it starting to lift more weights? Is it starting to carve out time to for yourself to feel calmer? Is it to perhaps start playing the piano again?

Speaker 1:

I started doing that and I must admit I really, really, am loving it. And I still fall into the trap. Don't get me wrong, I still fall into the trap of going. I just don't have the time, but it's. Am I prioritising that? Do I really want to start doing that? But actually that's kind of a joyful thing.

Speaker 1:

Anyway, now, I always love the example of training for a marathon when I talk about anything like this. So I did a marathon two years ago here in Brighton. It's quite timely because actually yesterday was the Brighton marathon, which I did two years ago, and it's just so inspirational. I honestly just love, love, love that day. So when I decided to do this marathon, I'd never run a marathon before. I'd run a handful of half marathons and 10Ks and a lot, of, a lot of part runs, a lot of 5Ks, but never a marathon. Yet it was something I really wanted to do, particularly as I was. Every year we'd come and watch the Brighton Marathon, always get extremely emotional watching all these amazing, just everyday people doing amazing things, raising money for charities, often with names of their loved ones who might have lost or who were they running for on their backs, and every year they've always really, really inspired me.

Speaker 1:

So a couple of years ago, I set myself the goal to run a marathon, which did seem ridiculous because it just felt such a long way for me. But that was the first step. That was the first step just to decide that was what I was going to do. The same for this podcast, for example. So again a few years ago and gosh, nearly three years ago now, actually I wanted to start a podcast. I didn't know how, I didn't know the first thing about podcasting, but that first step was setting the goal of putting out a weekly episode and the same. I've actually got another goal at the moment. Currently, the the same for me is I currently want to do 10 unassisted pull-ups and at the moment that honestly feels absolutely impossible, but that is a goal I've set myself. Another goal I've got is to I want at least 200 people joining my membership in the airspace space. Again, that feels massive, but these are all goals which feel really, really big.

Speaker 1:

So just take a moment now and just get clear on a goal that you really want to do but you keep putting off because you're just like, oh, that's ridiculous, I could never do that. So get clear on now and when you know what your goal is, the thing to do is to look at how you can break it down into really small steps. So the one small thing that will start moving you in the direction of a thing that you want is what you've got to start thinking of in terms of this goal. Not the entirety of the goal, but the one small thing. So strip it right back and work out what that is. What is the one thing you can do to get started? So it needs to be something that is small enough and realistic enough that you will actually do it yourself as often as you can and stick to it.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so you may well have heard of James Clear. He's the atomic habits person who I think his book has been in and out of the Sunday Times top 10 bestseller list for years now. It's a really brilliant book and his he says that the secret to success it's not motivation, because we all know that motivation can be high, it can be low, it doesn't work. He says the secret to success is systems. He says you do not rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems. So basically that means the habits you build build, the daily, almost really boring habits that you build, are what carry you to your goal. So that's, it's about consistency. That's what it's about bj fogg, who is another behavior change expert, who he's got a great book actually called uh, tiny habits, which also I would recommend. So he um is a behavior change expert from stanford university and he says the best way to build lasting change is to start ridiculously small. So he talks about literally so tiny like, for example, to form a habit of flossing every day. Start just with flossing one tooth. Or if you want to do push-ups, start with just one push-up or start meditating for 30 seconds. That's because once you're in motion it just is easier to keep going. And once you've started that habit, it's easier just to keep going with it.

Speaker 1:

So let's say, for instance, your dream is to write a book. I mean, one day I would like to write a book. And actually my father has been talking about writing a book now for quite some time. He's got some great stories. So, daddy, if you're listening, this one's for you. So writing a book would be amazing. But you quite possibly you could think, my goodness, that's a huge amount of writing I need to do to write a whole book and it's going to make you run for the hills and not even bother with it. But what if it's just one paragraph a day, 100 words a day, say? That feels a lot easier, right? And if you do that, say, for a year, you're going to have over 36,000 words and that's really on the way to writing a book. And so that is the power of consistency.

Speaker 1:

So with running a marathon, you know the idea initially of running 26 miles straight felt 100% impossible. But I followed a plan. I showed up consistently and just gradually, gradually, did everything the plan was asking me to and gradually it builds and it absolutely works. Because I ended up running the marathon, I'm currently actually in the process of getting back to up to running half marathon distance. I've been a bit rubbish with my running recently. I've just been not running that far, but I'm kind of the summer's coming and I want to be able to run a little bit further. So I'm following a plan. I'm following a half marathon plan. I haven't actually got a half marathon to run, but it's working. I'm on week five this week and suddenly running 40 minutes feels easy, whereas a few weeks ago, just running 40 minutes felt hard. So it just shows that the consistency of following, breaking things down and following through really really does work and it's great, it feels good, it feels great every time you do it. You know, I think for me, the marathon training when I did that marathon training yes, it's a commitment, but I've really, really enjoyed, enjoyed it, and actually the final marathon itself is just almost a celebration of all of that training, all of that consistent action, and I actually, I actually missed it bizarrely when I, when I, when I had done it. So the same goes, for example, with the pull-ups which I'm trying to do.

Speaker 1:

I really got into pull-ups during Covid. So at the time two of my children were big into climbing and I was part of a group of adult climbers. Because you know you've got to join. You know I was at so often at a climbing centre so I thought I might as well get into it. And during the lockdown the coach was amazing and he ran about three sessions a week online to help keep us strong. And one of the things we worked on were pull-ups, because pretty much all of us had children who climbed so we all had pull-up bars at home. So at that time I could ever ever do a pull-up. I'd never done a pull-up in my life but he got us all doing pull-ups and at the time I could do easily five unassisted pull-ups at the end of that pandemic. So I know I can do them now and it felt so good. So that just showed me that with consistency, with patience, you can absolutely do it. Annoyingly, I've lost a little bit of that pull up action recently, so that's why I kind of want to get back to it and I know that if I'm consistent with it I can get back.

Speaker 1:

So the message here is very clear when you start showing up for yourself consistently, even in the tiniest of ways, you you can get to achieve your goal. And what is so magical about it is you start building trust with yourself and that then builds your confidence. And that is huge, because confidence isn't something you're born with. It's not something you just get. It's something that you build. And each of these little steps that you take are like little promises to yourself. Every time, and every time you do the thing you said you would do, even if it's just five minutes or one small step, you're sending a message to yourself. You're sending a message to your brain which is saying look, you can rely on me, I did it, I followed through. And that builds a real sense of trust with yourself and that's the foundation of real, lasting confidence. Because you trust yourself, you know you can follow through.

Speaker 1:

So it's not the kind of confidence which is really loud and really outgoing. It's that sort of quiet, grounded kind that changes how you move through the world. It's so, so powerful and that's why I run my inner space sessions three times a week, for example. I know the more you practice breathing well, calming the mind, calming your nervous system, the greater effect it has and I know this because I do it too and how I respond to life, since I've been doing this, this kind of work, it has completely transformed. I'm now so much more present, I'm so much calmer, particularly with my kids. I can respond to challenges most. Mostly not always, but mostly I can respond to challenges in the way that I am proud of, rather than flying off the handle and saying something I would regret, which I used to do. So you just feel so much more calm and in control.

Speaker 1:

And because I know that every time I do that practice, I do a breathwork practice. It's kind of like a breathwork meditation practice, because every time I pause, I tune in, I consciously breathe, I'm choosing myself, and that's what my inner space members are doing. They're choosing themselves, they're showing up, even if it's just you know, it's not for long, for a few minutes, and reminding their nervous system what it feels like to be safe, to be steady, to be grounded. So that's, you know, that is consistency too, and over time, that builds self-trust in a really deep embodied way, because when you can count on yourself to take that one breath, for example, to give yourself that space, you start to believe in yourself more and, yeah, that's the confidence. That's where the true confidence begins, and it's not in doing more or being perfect, because none of us are perfect, it's perfect, it's impossible but it's in being present and choosing to return to yourself one breath at a time.

Speaker 1:

So something else I am let's, I'm just trying to think of all these other things I'm gonna be I've been consistent with, just to give you as many examples as possible. But something else I'm I'm trying really hard at the moment to be consistent with at the moment is some physio exercises. Now I've not been very consistent with these, having just started this podcast episode saying I'm quite good at being consistent. You know, we all have things we rather do and we rather not do, and I've been ignoring some niggles recently, particularly one of my knees, and I finally saw a physio, having seen a physio before and not done the exercises. But I finally saw a physio who said the only way to help is to get stronger, particularly in one leg. So I have to do these really not very pleasant one-legged exercises, which obviously I find hard because that's why I've got to do them, but they literally only take 10 minutes. And I've made a deal with myself I'm going to do them because I really want to keep running for as long as I possibly can, and if I don't do these then I might not be able to do that. And do you know what? I've actually been doing them now for about only for about four weeks, consistently, and already I can notice the difference. The knee pain is reduced. I'm not getting this weird glute pain when I'm running as much, so it's yeah again, it's working.

Speaker 1:

So it's not about being perfect, it's about just getting back to it if you fall off the wagon. So I am pretty consistent, particularly with things like exercise and eating well, but I am certainly not perfect and I absolutely fall off the wagon, particularly on weekends. Sometimes it can all go out the window. But the important thing here is not to use it as an excuse to just kind of go, fuck it and go back to your old ways. If you fall off the wagon, because what's happening here is your brain will be trying to make you do exactly that, because you'll still have the old, familiar neural pathway pulling you in that direction of just going. Oh, can't be bothered, I just I've stopped it now. So I'm not going to do it, because your brain and body are always looking for the familiar. They're always looking for the things which feel the most comfortable. That is how we're wired. So you have to be very, very wary of that. So you don't have to be perfect, but if you do fall off the wagon because you will, because you're human all you need to do is just brush it off, just remind yourself that you're human and okay, I've fallen off the wagon, but then get straight back on it.

Speaker 1:

So consistency doesn't mean rigid. It means being committed. So that's slightly different there. It means being committed. It means adapting rather than abandoning, and we can, and that just feels a little bit softer. So if you have a couple of days where you stop being consistent with whatever it is you're doing, just pick it up again. Don't cave into your brain trying to tell you you might as well give up. And when it comes to being consistent, if you think about it, you don't get fit and losing weight by going to the gym once a month for eight hours. You get into shape by going to the gym consistently.

Speaker 1:

We have to remember that. We're not going to see results straight away, but we, what we mustn't do is stop because we're not seeing the results straight away. We have to know and believe that the results are going to show in time. So there is a certain amount of just knowing and believing and trusting the process that the results are going to come. And that's really hard because we like to see results straight away, but we've just got to really trust the process. So breathwork and meditation are a really good example of this. You know so when we do this in the inner space, yes, actually you can feel really amazing after a session, but actually it's the cumulative effects which really build to feel the huge benefits. If you were to come once a month and just do the thing, maybe say for two hours you're not going. It's not the same as kind of breaking that down into smaller amounts and doing it more often. It's the frequency which is going to give you the benefits.

Speaker 1:

I mean, if we're totally honest here, consistency is really really very boring. It's about doing the boring and glamorous things when nobody else is watching. That is what it's all about. It's about showing up and just doing it, and it isn't sexy and it isn't glamorous, but it gets the best results. It's doing the tiny little things that seem really pointless in and of themselves that get the best results. It's the accumulation of all those little, seemingly insignificant things that build and build and build into something that really means something.

Speaker 1:

This podcast, for example, has been an interesting lesson in consistency. So for about two years I put out my own episode every week. I put out my own episode every week. I then had a little break from putting out my weekly episodes and I just continued to put out my Thursday Thoughts episodes, which I do with Lucy, and actually I really paid the price for that. So I wasn't consistent in my episodes and I lost a load of regular listeners in that time and I'm convinced it's just because I wasn't consistent. So now I'm having to build that back up again, so that that for me has been a real lesson, whereas Lucy has continued with her podcast every week, where she actually puts out three episodes a week and she's doing phenomenally well. But I'm not going to give myself a hard time about it because I feel I feel like I needed the break and sometimes it's good. It's good to give yourself a bit of a pause. I've still put out nearly 212 episodes. I've had more than 200,000 downloads and that a lot of that has been about me being mainly consistent and just doing this podcast is a great lesson in consistency because you get to listen to the finished episode.

Speaker 1:

But really, behind the scenes, I've got to be super consistent. There's lots of rather dull, annoying little things like uploading the episode, writing the description, choosing the audio clip I put out on social media, editing it, doing the same for the video clip, researching possible guests. You know all of it. So I could spend that time, I suppose, doing something else. But actually I really enjoy doing these episodes and I wouldn't be looking at the 212 episodes of this podcast if I hadn't have put all that consistent effort in it and actually, yes, I think I'm really proud of it. So, yes, these little consistent actions that we do over and over again, they don't feel necessarily very exciting or glamorous, but when you are doing them, they are what make up the bigger reward down the line At the end of the day.

Speaker 1:

I think it's important to remember that time is going to pass anyway. I don't know about you, but as I've got older, time just goes so incredibly quickly. So if you start taking, so if you start taking consistent action on something today. Imagine, just imagine where you could be by this time next year. The time's going to pass either way, so we might as well use the time in a way our future self will thank us for. And if, by the way, you know, you could really be helping yourself by calming your nervous system, calming your thoughts, giving yourself some precious time just for you. That's what we're doing in the inner space. One breath at a time, one session at a time, one intention at a time. It all matters and it all makes a difference to how you move through life and, ultimately, how you enjoy life.

Speaker 1:

It's such an interesting one, the inner space, because the members who are in there, they've really made that decision that it's for them. It's something that they are committed to doing, and I know you've got to be ready to do that and a lot of people aren't ready to do that. They, they say they would like to do it, but actually they're not ready yet to carve out that time. It's got to be a priority. If you feel like you're ready to make that a priority, then this is a really great way of of doing it. Anyway, that's my sales pitch over not, but it should have been about sales pitch, but it's just good to tell you about what I do. Uh, if you enjoy listening to this, because I truly believe that the inner space sessions are super valuable and because I know the members in there love them so much, I know there's gonna be a lot more people out there who are going to enjoy them. They just don't know about them yet.

Speaker 1:

Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed this episode. If you have and you haven't already subscribed it only literally takes a couple of seconds. Please do me a massive favor and hit that subscribe button. It really does help this podcast. If you would like to come and find me on Instagram, I'm at Polly Warren Coaching. Or if you'd like to send me an email, I am info at pollywarrencom. Have a wonderful rest of the week. I would love to know your thoughts on this episode. I'd love to know one thing that you are going to commit to being consistent with. You can use me as your accountability person, because, again, we know that really super helpful. I look forward to speaking to you next time. Have a wonderful rest of the week, take care, lots of love. Bye.