MENOMORPHOSIS

#123: Why You Struggle With Food (And How to Set Yourself Free) – with Elizabeth Dall

• Polly Warren

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Does your relationship with food feel more complicated than it probably should? 

Why does body image feel so fragile—especially in midlife?
And why, oh why, do the "perfect" plans never seem to work?

In this week's episode of Menomorphosis, I'm joined by Elizabeth Dall, certified women's nutrition and behaviour change coach, to untangle the messy relationship many of us have with food and our bodies—especially during midlife and menopause.

Elizabeth shares her personal journey from personal trainer to behaviour change specialist, revealing why willpower and rigid plans so often fail, and how to finally move toward food freedom, body acceptance, and real self-nourishment.

💡 What you'll learn in this episode:

  • Why “perfect” nutrition plans fail—even when you really want to stick to them
  • The diet cycle: how it traps you, and how to step out of it with compassion
  • The 3 types of body comparison keeping women stuck—and how to break free
  • How to shift your focus from how your body looks to what it can do
  • What intuitive eating actually means (and how to begin with just one meal)
  • A simple 3-step approach to understanding emotional eating—without guilt
  • Why creating boundaries (not rules) helps you feel safe around food
  • How to gently rewire old patterns and reconnect to your body’s wisdom
  • The power of movement as a way to honour your body—not punish it

Elizabeth’s wisdom is both deeply practical and beautifully empowering. If you’ve been at war with food, your body, or yourself—this is your invitation to try something different.

🌿 “Your body is good. It does good things. It doesn’t need more punishment—it needs more nurturing.” – Elizabeth Dall


For more about Elizabeth:

Free mindful eating meditation:
https://www.awomanofwellness.com/foodconfidence

The Woman of Wellness Podcast: https://www.awomanofwellness.com/podcast

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/awomanofwellness/#

Website: https://www.awomanofwellness.com/


Download The Breath Check-Up - your FREE guide to understanding how well you're breathing right now.

Download my energising 5 Minute Morning Practice to get your day started in the best way possible.

To find out more about my membership The Inner Space go to: https://www.pollywarren.com/theinnerspace

Email me at: info@pollywarren.com
https://www.pollywarren.com/
https://www.instagram.com/pollywarrencoaching/

Speaker 1:

Are you, like me, riding the roller coaster of midlife and menopause and eager to get back to living your best life? Are you tired of low energy, a short temper and endless self-doubt? Well, it's time to stress less and shine more. It's time to ditch the worry, reclaim your mojo and tap back into the incredible woman you already are, because midlife isn't the end of anything. It's the beginning of becoming more you, more grounded, more radiant, more powerful than ever before. Join me each week for real, uplifting conversations to help you feel better, think clearer and live with more joy, purpose and ease. Because it's never too late and you're certainly not too old. So whenever you're ready, let the beautiful menomorphosis begin. Hello, hello and welcome back to metamorphosis. I hope you're doing really well. I hope you've been enjoying the episodes which have been going out so far and actually I'm really pleased that slowly, slowly, the downloads are beginning to creep back up again. It's been really tough, actually, because I had a break from this podcast for about eight months of last year and that was a decision which I've kind of. It could have been very easy to regret, because I know I've lost a lot of listeners in that time. However, I've stuck with it haven't come back since beginning of January and it's really lovely to see that those listener figures are beginning to rise again, which is great. So hopefully you're enjoying this content. I always love to hear your feedback, so please, please, please do let me know if an episode has particularly resonated with you, if something hasn't, or if there's something you really would love to hear on this podcast, or if you could suggest a guest, or even if you would like to be a guest. Please, please, please do, let me know.

Speaker 1:

So, as I am recording this, I'm on day five of a bit of a detox. I don't do these very often, but last week I think, I was at the back end of overdoing things overdoing things at work, overdoing things socially and I suddenly hit a really sort of dark place, which doesn't really happen very much these days, but it was at a place where I didn't want to see anyone. I didn't want to. I felt like not doing anything. I couldn't not not do anything, but I felt like I didn't want to do anything, and I know that eating wise things are just sort of slightly gone a little bit off track. So I just felt the need and it was not planned at all. But I suddenly was like, right, I need to reset, I need to totally reset my body. And so I've done that.

Speaker 1:

And I'm not sure what my guest today, elizabeth Dahl, would say about what I did, because she's all about intuitive eating, mindful eating, which I will go on to discuss, but intuitively, for me, what I did and it was from having spoken to somebody and got some and just got some sort of inspiration from some other people I decided to do a few days of like a juice cleansy, soup cleanse, which was all plant-based, and this last day I'm just I'm actually was hungry. So I'm back on solid food, but I'm keeping it all plant-based, but I'm making sure I've got beans and pulses to get some protein back in. And you know what I feel? Really, really good. I suddenly feel much more clear headed and just much more energy in my body and I feel like my taste buds have returned in force. Everything tastes amazing, everything is smelling amazing. So, yes, it is really nice to experience that. So we're talking quite a lot about food in this week's episode.

Speaker 1:

I really loved this conversation with Elizabeth Dull. Now, elizabeth is a certified women's nutrition and behavior change coach and food freedom expert. Elizabeth specializes in helping women make peace with food, create sustainable, healthy habits, stop overeating, embrace their bodies and achieve their health goals. So if you're someone who has constantly been battling with self-image with food, you've got stuck in that diet culture, or you just don't like the way you look and are constantly worrying if you should be eating this or that, listen to this podcast episode, because Elizabeth has a wealth of knowledge to share. She also has her own podcast, which is called the Women of Wellness Podcast, where she shares expert insights and actionable tools to support women on their wellness journeys.

Speaker 1:

So if you feel like your relationship with food and your body could do with a little bit of an upgrade, then this is the episode for you. So, without further ado, please welcome the absolutely wonderful Elizabeth Dahl. Elizabeth, hello, it's really lovely to have you here on Menopause and, yeah, I'm excited for this conversation. Thank you for having me. Oh, it's a pleasure. I think a really good place to start would be for you to tell us a little bit about you and perhaps your own wellness journey and kind of what led you to create your business today. Yeah, I'd love to.

Speaker 2:

So I started in the wellness industry as a personal trainer. And you know, as a personal trainer, you see your clients a couple times a week in the gym and then the rest of the week you don't see them. So I would, you know, train them in the gym and then I would take, I would give them a program, right, like a nutrition program and an exercise program, to do the rest of the days so that they could get the results that they wanted. And what kept happening over and over again was my clients would come back and say, well, I didn't do it, I didn't follow it. Um, they weren't getting results, but they weren't following the plan. And I was like, well, this is how it's supposed to work. Here's the plan, follow it, do it Right.

Speaker 2:

And the funny thing is, at the same time I was doing the same thing. I was like trying to follow this textbook, perfect plan. And then, you know, binging by night, like just being overwhelmed or whatever, not following through because life and all my clients were telling me life got in the way and I was stressed and I was busy and I couldn't keep up with it. And so what really led me down the path that I am now where I focus a lot on, you know, the science and psychology behind behavior change. True, lasting behavior change is um is that I mean that's what started is okay. We've got to figure out a way to take, you know, good nutrition principles and exercise principles that help get results and implement them into an imperfect, busy lifestyle. So that's really what got me down this path. Yeah, I mean it's the crux, isn't it?

Speaker 1:

We so often. We know, we know the things, we know what we need to be doing, but actually following it through and carrying it out is a whole different kettle of fish altogether. What about your own wellness journey? How's that kind of looked as you've kind of gone through your life up until now?

Speaker 2:

So yeah, so that was kind of part a piece of my story where it was like I, the more I learned about nutrition and exercise, the more strict I got and the more I sabotaged because I was like all or nothing Right, um. But it's interesting because, even kind of before that journey, I was raised in a house where health and nutrition wasn't, um, it wasn't really a priority. It wasn't I don't know if it wasn't a priority, but we had canned beans, canned peas, canned corn. Those were our vegetables that's all I knew of vegetables growing up and a lot of canned um fruits as well. So I didn't understand. My mom would always say you know, eat the cheese, it's really good for you to eat more cheese, and like there were just lots of things and she was doing the best she could.

Speaker 2:

But, um, it was really interesting because I you know this is kind of before the personal trainer space, but I was, um, going down a nursing track, so I was going to become a nurse and I got a particular job in a particular area of the hospital that were like preventable diseases and it was hard for me. It was hard for me to watch people's bodies deteriorate, and so I just kind of made the decision. I said you know I'm so grateful for nurses and what they do and also I really want to be on the preventative side. I want to help support people living a full life, because I was seeing so much sickness and not living a life and so that that that kind of like going even further. That's really what led me to there.

Speaker 2:

And then, you know, my own journey was same thing. I had to go through that diet cycle over and over, like I follow the plan. I'm supposed to do this because this is what I learned in school right, follow it. And then I would do the same diet cycle sabotage, start over again until you know we figured out OK, that's not the way that you get lasting results.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and is that because you felt like you had an issue with your weight, or was it your own personal view of your, of your body shape that was leading you towards that? Did you feel like you had an issue?

Speaker 2:

yeah, it was my perception, right? So my perception was that there was an ideal body and mine didn't match that. Um, I wasn't. I don't have a story of ever being like overweight, super overweight or anything, but I definitely it was a weight loss pursuit because my body didn't look like that or it was supposed to be a different way.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I think that's so interesting, isn't it? Because when we're talking about weight loss or diet culture, often we're thinking about, perhaps, people who are overweight, who are carrying too much, too much fat. However, it's not just those people, it's. It's kind of. I mean, it's so broad. So many of us have issues about our own bodies, when actually it's just the way we are built. We are just the people. You know, the within this body, which is is different to what we perceive as being like the right body is perfect, so that, because I was just going to ask, you know the people who you work with. Where are they at with this? Are they people who are, who are deemed as overweight, or are they people who are stuck on this cycle, who actually perhaps aren't necessarily overweight, but actually have this, this perception of their body, which isn't helpful?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, a little, a little mix of both, but I the second one, more likely, where it's like there is a perception, and I always say there's three, three different kinds of comparison. The first is comparison to others. The second is comparison to an ideal or a standard. And the third, which a lot of women struggle with, especially as they age, is comparison to a previous body or to their younger self. Um, and so what happens is, regardless of, maybe, um, physiological weight status, right, your BMI is higher, your, you know, your weight is high. Um, we find that, you know, we, just we discover that our body is different, different than it used to be, different than hers, different than the ideal, and we connect that with wrong, right? That's not okay, um, and so it, like you kind of mentioned, the majority of women, regardless of weight status, really still struggle with body image because of one of one or more of those comparison standards yes, I mean I, I relate to that.

Speaker 1:

So I'm someone who has never, ever really struggled with weight. Uh, I've kind of. You know, my friends used to hate me because I just naturally had a fast metabolism. I must have been because I was always I never carried any sort of weight. However, since I've I mean it really for me it's this sort of post-menopausal bit, and I hit 50.

Speaker 1:

I'm probably the heaviest I've ever been and I know that scales really we should never really weigh ourselves. It's how we feel in our body. We do have scales in my house, but and I am the heaviest I've ever been and I have to really kind of remind myself constantly okay, it doesn't matter what those scales say. However, I do feel like I'm carrying more weight, particularly around my belly, than I ever have done and it's not. I mean, if I say this to my friends they're just like oh, polly, just be quiet. But relatively to me, to how I've always been, what you were saying, you know I'm comparing myself to who I used to be. It's it does make me feel slightly uncomfortable. It does, if I'm totally honest, it makes me feel uncomfortable. So, for anybody listening, you know who is who's kind of comparing themselves to others, comparing themselves to like the social norms, those three things you said. Where do we go from here? What do we do? What would you suggest to me? How do I feel better about this?

Speaker 2:

It really comes down to a root of having a relationship with your body and an identity of you. Know what I preach as a woman of wellness. I'm a woman of wellness throughout the seasons of my life and understanding that I can still be a woman of wellness, I can still support my body, nourish and nurture my body as it goes through seasons, and we know that. It's so interesting because, let's say, during pregnancy, we almost just expect that our body's going to change and we're kind of aware of that. I mean, we may have things that are frustrating right when we see our body change, but we, we just are like, oh, it's going to happen, but for some reason, menopause I think we get more frustrated or like we don't anticipate that actually your body is gonna change and you know, I mean fat patterning changes with menopause and so there is a little more. I guess you could say it changes more to the stomach, and so that's something that women share, that like, oh, my stomach is different than it used to be, and so that's something that women share, that like, oh, my stomach is different than it used to be, and it makes sense, right.

Speaker 2:

So it's okay, and I don't preach that you have to love everything about your body. I don't think that we have to just say, like, I love everything about this. But can we get to a place of body neutrality body acceptance where it's like my body is good, of body neutrality, body acceptance where it's like my body is good and it can still do that, Like, can it still do the things that I want to do, regardless of if it looks the same in a swimsuit as it did 10 years ago? Um, and and recognizing that now we're really focusing more on the function of the body, especially as we age, because we want that body to work really well long-term and we're kind of, when we go in with that relationship, right, that, okay, we're working together. It makes that transition a little bit softer, I guess little bit softer, I guess.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I mean, I totally agree. It's about really being so grateful for the body that we have everything it can do, and I think for me, whenever I remind myself of that, that really, really helps. Is there anything else you help your clients with in terms of that mindset shift Because it is a mindset shift to go from oh God, I wish I my stomach was a bit flat, or you know to actually going okay, no, this body is good, I'm happy in the skin that I'm in. Is there anything else which you would suggest to help them get there?

Speaker 2:

Shift the focus away from image and more towards habits. If you are frustrated in your body, don't spend all day looking in the mirror and looking out flaws, pointing out flaws, and look more at your habits. Are we happy with the habits that I'm, that I have to support my body? Sometimes those habits shift and change. Um, our, our metabolisms don't just don't naturally just drop, um, because we're aging, necessarily. It's usually because we start to slow down, um, things start to slow down and we, we move less right, we're not college athletes or we're not, um running around as a young mom with little kids, and so, um, if we can shift that mindset from always focused on the image to you know what? What habits am I using to support and and how might these need to shift in this season of life?

Speaker 2:

And I am a big believer that you can love and accept your body and nurture it to change. It's okay, you know, to say, hey, I'm going to you, know, accept this body. I know that there's seasons and I'm also going to look at my habits and say is there some things that I can do to maybe support, um, support this body and changing in a way that still feels good so that I might feel better. I mean it. Sometimes it's hard to feel like you're filling out your pants more and all that, and I'm a huge fan of letting the clothes fit you. But I do also understand that maybe you're feeling off and it's. It's not so much about the body, it's more about what can I, what habits can I look at to support those feelings and and the physiology.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so you talk about a woman of wellness. So I'm intrigued, because wellness is such a broad topic and such a broad word for you. Can you just define what it means for you wellness, because I think we've all got our own idea of what that means.

Speaker 2:

I love about it, um, it is that it's unique to everyone. So wellness is really a place where you're showing up in the way that you want for your health. Um, and one thing that I do with my clients is I invite them to identify what their vision of a woman of wellness is. What is? What is you living your healthiest life? And I have a client in one of my programs. This is my favorite story. She says her goal is not so much to lose weight, but it's to water ski in the Moo Moo when she's 80. She's like I want to have.

Speaker 2:

I want to have health and I want to be vibrant and she's like I don't care if my body's a different size. I just want to still be able to do that and I love that, because that's not everyone's goal, you know other people are like. Wellness means this to me, or me showing up in my best health I think that's how we would describe it is what is your best health, so that you can do the things that you love to do. You can show up for your day.

Speaker 1:

Yes, I love that Because I think, particularly as you get older, when you suddenly are faced with statistics, that one in three of us will get osteoporosis because your bones are weakening or losing bone density, you're losing your muscle mass year on year all of these stats which can seem quite scary. For me, wellness means staying strong, staying healthy. I want to go into my 70s, my 80s, being able to be totally mobile and to be able to look after myself, to carry my own shopping bags and and to feel good. Ultimately, it's about feeling good. So, whatever it takes to feel as good as I can, I'm there for it. So, yes, I think it probably changes again the seasons through your life in terms of what you're focused on, but ultimately, I'm sure we all want to feel as well as we can for as long as we can.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I used to work in with some of the senior population and doing strength training and it's so interesting because the focus at that age really shifts from image to function and I always tell people you know, train for function. If you want to be able to put things on a shelf above your head, you need to push, you know, heavy weights above your head and balance. We need to work on these things, and so it's really important that when you're incorporating your wellness habits, that you're thinking about how does this support my lifestyle, my body's movement, how I want to show up in my body?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, absolutely so. Let's just talk a little bit about the nutrition side of things. So you talk a lot about intuitive eating. So for those who don't really know that term, perhaps you could explain. What does that mean, firstly, and then we'll go from there.

Speaker 2:

Great question, yeah, so I kind of use the terms intuitive eating, mindful eating. In my mind they're interchangeable, some people have their own definitions, but essentially it's about creating a connection between your brain and your body as you eat food. So, understanding your body's physical cues right, hunger and fullness cues and also your body's emotional cues Am I satisfied with this meal? Does this feel good? Right, food is it's allowed to be enjoyed and it's a big part of the enjoyment of life. And so that's really what intuitive and mindful eating is. Is it's, it's reconnecting with your body.

Speaker 2:

Because when we go, when we get stuck in the diet cycle where we're, you know, following the plan, trying to get results, being strict, and then we sabotage, right Cause we don't follow it, or we eat a cookie, and then we end up eating 10, and you know we, we follow that cycle over and over again. Um, we're disconnected from our body. We're relying on outside sources, someone else, to say eat this and this much and when, right, and all of these things. And what intuitive and mindful eating do is it brings the power back onto you that you have the ability to know and meet the needs of your own body.

Speaker 1:

Yes. So how does one, how do you help people to tune in and get to that point where they can go okay, I'm full, I've eaten enough. Okay, I don't need to eat the 10 biscuits now, but I've had one. How do you, how do you work with people to get them to that?

Speaker 2:

point. It can feel overwhelming, especially if we've followed the diets before we've, we've kind of listened to those outside sources and we're disconnected with our body. And I thought let's talk about an analogy, because you said you have kids and so you've probably potty trained some kids and I have potty trained two of my kids and it's very similar to potty training. When you are potty training a child you are all in, like it's all hands on deck. You're not going out and about, you know, playing at the store or anything like first little bit. You're just like we are focused in on this, we're really, really focused. And then a couple of days later they start to get the hang of it and you can go to the park or you kind of venture out just a little bit beyond your home and then eventually that child recognizes those cues and can go potty anywhere. Right, you don't have to, you're not restricted to like being in your home. It's the same thing with a mindful eating practice or intuitive eating practice.

Speaker 2:

At the beginning I invite clients to create a very intentional mindful eating moment and I have a free mindful eating audio meditation that I'll share with everyone listening and I'll send that to you, where you just sit down one meal a day for a week or two and be intentional.

Speaker 2:

Be intentional, reconnect that brain, body, create that connection again. Pay attention to how your body feels. How does hunger feel to you? How does it feel as you're eating? Are you enjoying the food? Is it satisfying and what does it feel like when your body says I'm full? Because we need to master that skill of being able to stop when we're satisfied in full. And so much of eating is emotional and we over stuff, right, we overeat. So if we can master that I'm satisfied and I can stop right here, that's going to be a game changer for any health goals that you might have. So that's really where I start is okay, let's, let's create a mindful eating practice and then, once you recognize those cues, then you can take it anywhere. You can eat mindfully and intuitively at the restaurant or at the event, because you have that skill.

Speaker 1:

So it's. It's building that awareness of of how you're feeling while whilst eating, and I, you know, for so many of us we nowadays just gulp our food back. I mean mean, I'm constantly telling my kids to stop literally swallowing their food. It's like can we just take a moment and actually enjoy what we're eating and chew and and take our time? But that's that's the culture today in terms of I mean, I will always make sure everyone sits down for dinner in our house and we, you know no screens. We sit down and we take our time if we can, but everyone's on the go grabbing things and just stuffing it in without really having any connection with it and the feelings, and so you can see how it's so easy to get so disconnected from what is happening.

Speaker 1:

One thing I would like to ask you personally. So I would say I've got a pretty good relationship with food. I eat pretty healthily most of the time. However, I do have a real Achilles heel for sweet stuff and I always have done throughout my life I wished I was a savoury person, like you know, if you go for a snack, I wished I was and I just done throughout my life I wished I was a savory person like you know, if you go for a snack I wished I was and I just I'm just not. I love pastries, biscuits, chocolate, I love it all, and so I don't have it in the house. Generally my kids hate me for it because I'm like nope, because if it's there I will, I will eat it.

Speaker 1:

So and I have tried doing this, like you know, really listening to myself, understanding what is it that is maybe we'll go on to this in a minute about emotional eating what is it that I'm looking for? Because, if it is, if there is something in my house, or sometimes even if there's not, if I'm out and about, I'll go. Oh yes, I need to go and eat a donut and the problem is I can't just seem to eat one. I will eat whatever there is, and it's something which I really am determined to get to the bottom of, because it's like it's not how it's. You know why am I doing it? I'm really disciplined in so many parts of my life, but this I can't to get control of it, and it's not always bad. It kind of goes in cycles. I don't know. I'm asking you, elizabeth, what help me? What can I do?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I'm just trying to think what direction. There's so many different, different facets of that, so I'm going to try to put all my thoughts in cohesiveness, but there's a couple of things here. First of all, everyone has a different relationship with food. Um, and I think trying to put yourself in a box that you don't necessarily fit in is, um, it sets us up for failure. So let me give you an example.

Speaker 2:

I am very similar. It I love, I love the, I love the treat. I'm not a candy girl, but if it's like a pastry, like you said, a cookie or anything like that, oh my goodness I love it. And if it's in my house, I'm way more likely to eat it. My husband and son, you know what. They could have one and they could take it or leave it. It could sit there for days and go stale. It would never go stale in my brain, right, and that's a difference in our personalities. And so, first of all, it's important to just understand that some of us have that, and I differ in my I guess you'd say educated opinion about should we have the food in our home and is that food freedom, right? Is that control if you can have it in your home and not eat it. But the truth is, I believe that for my personality and just what I enjoy, it's better if the food is available to me at the pastry shop, right, or at the store, and I know that the food is always available to me. I know that there are donuts at any store around me and I know where the good ones are. Okay, like, I can go get the good ones right, I'm not just going to go get it just for just cause Um, and that's available to me if I want it and it's.

Speaker 2:

It's helpful because it creates a little bit of a barrier or maybe what we might call a boundary. We're allowed to have some boundaries. We have them in our lives, right, we have boundaries of like I do this or I can't think of one off the top of my head. But we have certain things where it's like, yeah, I don't smoke, I don't know that's a big one, but like I'm just saying, maybe you have that boundary of like I. Just, I just make that choice, I don't do that, and it's also okay for us to.

Speaker 2:

I like to use the word boundaries because I think it's a little softer than rules. I don't necessarily believe in like rules? I can't. It's not rules, aren't? Rules feel very black and white and boundaries are like okay, I recognize that if it's in my home, I eat more of it than I want to, and I don't really want to do that. And so I know that I have food freedom and food is available to me. I can go get it when I want. But the boundary for me is I just don't keep it around my house, which I think you kind of have, and so move to the next step right.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, from there, we, we do need to kind of. It can be one of two things.

Speaker 1:

It can be a habit loop where it's just like you go and you, you just naturally go grab it, but it can also be kind of that emotional component which I kind of think it probably is, because it's probably more likely to happen if I'm a little bit stressed or I'm a little bit fed up with something or kind of that feeling of my self-worth and suddenly sort of my light is beginning to dim a little bit. It's generally around that sort of thing, I think.

Speaker 2:

Yes, and here's what I'm going to say. This is a good thing. I think emotional eating is a gift and a good thing, because what it's doing is it's giving us a cue that something's off. It's saying, hey, something's off emotionally with you, right, when we're turning to food to deal with it it's I mean, that's the easiest way to deal with an emotion because it's fast and it's satisfying in the moment, right, but really it's giving us a signal which is cool, because that goes back to the mindfulness, the intuitiveness hey, I am stressed, right, and I usually tell, I tell women, I kind of have them follow a dialogue. Okay, we first need to identify that the emotion is there and we ask ourselves am I physiologically hungry or am I emotionally hungry? And you've identified it pretty well. It sounds like, but some people may be in that point where it's like, oh, I need to. Actually I didn't eat lunch. No wonder I'm craving that. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

But even though it's in that moment, it's that moment because sometimes I know it. I know there's something here, so it's that. It's then, is it, is it just? You've just got to have a bit of self-discipline in that moment to go okay, that's what it is. Sit with it. Sit with that discomfort and try and distract yourself with something else rather than than satisfy it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So from there we say, okay, you know, okay, this is an emotional, I've identified it as an emotion. I always say give yourself like a minute, 60 seconds to have this dialogue. What am I feeling? Name the emotion, right, it's stress, I'm tired, I'm overwhelmed, I'm sad. Name the emotion and then ask yourself what can, what do I need? So that's the first question what do I need? And very rarely the answer is food, right.

Speaker 2:

We usually have to say, okay, what do I need? Maybe I need a nap, maybe I need a walk, maybe I need something. From there, we ask ourselves what can I do now? Sometimes you don't have 20 minutes to take a nap, um, and so you have to ask yourself what can I do in? Sometimes you don't have 20 minutes to take a nap, and so you have to ask yourself what can I do in this moment to meet that emotional need?

Speaker 2:

And I like to say it's really simple what is the opposite of the emotion? So if I'm stressed, I want to feel calm. What can I do to help me feel calm? Do I need to just take some deep breaths? And if you can pause for that 60 seconds to maybe three minutes where you can meet that need, then you can revisit it and then you can say, do I still want the cookie?

Speaker 2:

And you might be surprised. I think some people might be like, well, of course I want the cookie, but you actually might be surprised. The more that you connect with your body, the more that you see, okay, what I really need is to support this and this cookie is available to me. Right, that's a food freedom, I guess. I don't know what the word is. It's like. That's what food freedom is for me. It's available to me that in this moment, this is what I really need and that's what I don't need. And it's really about changing that habit loop. It's kind of automatic for you, right? You automatically do it, yeah, and you're coming in and intervening with that. Oh well, the the outcome. I still want to feel calm. Food doesn't do that. What can I do instead?

Speaker 1:

yeah, I mean I should, I should know that better doing. You know I'm a breath coach, so I should know better that actually, in that moment, I just need to breathe and give myself some space and yeah, I think it's something I just need to keep, keep working on I I suppose sometimes it's just like, oh, you know, it's that real fuck it moment of like, oh well, everything else is good. I'm really I'm good at doing all these things that it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things, but ultimately it's how it makes me feel afterwards and I kind of I know it's not good for me, it's it doesn't make me feel great. So, yeah, that focusing also on how do I want to feel, I think also might help perhaps. So, okay, yes, always work in progress.

Speaker 1:

You know, and that's the thing with all of this stuff, isn't it? It's never, it's never done, it's never done, it's all, it's lifestyle, it's a way that it's. It's a way of life, it's how. For me, that's what wellness is, it's a way of life. And so I suppose for you, that's what you're trying to help people do is instill those healthy habits for for living, for living just the life they want to live.

Speaker 2:

I I have a unique definition of sabotage. It's the expectation of perfection. We, we set up unrealistic expectations for our health and wellness journeys. Um, I think we do it with other things in life too, but for some reason it's it's really heavy in the health arena. Um, but when you have, when you expect yourself to be perfect, that's what leads to sabotage.

Speaker 2:

And so I love you said it so beautifully as like it's a lifestyle, it's something that we're pursuing, and so the cool thing is is having food freedom and having a good relationship with food in your body does not mean a perfect relationship. You are going to overeat, you're going to emotionally eat, but the but, the concept of food freedom is that you can realign quicker. Oh, I did overeat. What was going on there? Right, I have a conversation with myself. Yeah, I didn't, I skipped lunch. No wonder I let myself get too hungry. And then you identify and you fix. You realign quicker. So food freedom is not a perfect relationship. It's a relationship where you are less spiraling out of control and more opportunities to get back on track.

Speaker 1:

Yes, I, I, I totally love that. I find cause. Yeah, I mean, I'm by no means perfect and I talk about health and wellness all the time, but for me, my relationship with alcohol is very similar to that as well, in that, you know, a lot of a big part of me is thinking oh, I know it doesn't do me any good, I know it's not a good thing and actually I would probably feel so much better if I didn't have it. However, I'm not ready yet to go there and make that decision. So for me, if I choose to drink alcohol, I have to, before that, accept that the following day I've drunk I'm just not going to feel as good as I would be if I hadn't have.

Speaker 1:

And that's a decision I've got to make in the moment. Am I prepared to have that payoff of doing something which I know isn't necessarily good for me and the effect it's going to have? And I imagine you know I suppose that's the same with with food to a certain extent. You know, don't deny yourself the easter egg uh, the chocolate easter egg, because it's easter, but be prepared that you're going to have. You know how you, how it's going to make you feel afterwards and actually just accept that, yeah, I'm, I'm going to enjoy it. Is that kind of the thing?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, there's definitely, you know, kind of that like consequence later, that we get into that cycle of like consequence later. I'll worry about it later. Um, and so one thing that I like to say is can you find the sweet spot? I I'm holding up two fingers and kind of two circles combining, and you know we want to capture like I want to feel better in the future. Right, I want to feel good in the future. But I always tell people, you know, if you want to prevent, let's say, diabetes in 10 years, that's not getting you out of bed in the morning to go to the gym right now. And so we really want to find that sweet spot of, yeah, I want to feel better in the future and the choice that I make right now is the thing that affects the future. But if we are constantly feeling like that choice that we make right now is like wah, wah, you know, that's the best word I can think of oh, I don't want to make this choice.

Speaker 2:

I want to have fun, then it doesn't, the future is just doesn't matter, because there's the consequence later. We're not paying for it right now, and so I always like to suggest finding that sweet spot where it's like can I enjoy something right now and still support my body? Right, is there a way? Is there a way I can have one drink instead of five? Right, because maybe this is enjoyment for me, or this is a good example. Let me give you a good example.

Speaker 2:

I also love to, you know, enjoy a treat regularly.

Speaker 2:

I think treats are a happy part of life, and one thing that I found myself doing was like just kind of having a habit of like eating a treat every day after lunch, or or like feeling like I always needed a treat after a meal, um, and so it was a habit for me, and so I created a boundary to say, when I enjoy a treat, I enjoy it mindfully.

Speaker 2:

I'm not grabbing the cookies off the, off the pan and walking around and eating because we do that so much that mindlessness. Instead, it's like okay, if I'm going to give this just like regular food, just like regular food, if I'm going to give this treat that time and that space I'm going to, I'm going to sit down and I'm going to enjoy it, and so that's a boundary that I've created that if I'm enjoying a treat, it's not I'm eating it on the run. Um, I'm sitting down, and so that might be something similar where it's like I like this part of my life and it's a choice that I don't want to give it up. Maybe I mean, that's your choice. Um, how can I maybe create a boundary so that I'm not paying for it so much that I'm regretting those decisions? Right, it's like, oh, I enjoy this and yeah, it's going to maybe feel a little bit different in.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, no, that's so true. Yeah, no, it's good. So it's about tuning in and just becoming more aware, and yeah, I mean, which I totally resonate with. And I think, particularly as women are going through midlife and well, from any point really, really in particularly, you know, younger, younger women as well with families, it's very easy to become very disconnected from ourselves in many ways because we're so busy, because we're doing everything for everybody else. We're being pulled in many, many different directions, and something which I really work a lot with for women is ultimately helping them to come back home to themselves, coming to find that connection back to themselves. So is that something which you would help someone to do? I mean, does that resonate at all with the people that you're working with?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, if you rely on those outside sources that we talked about, it doesn't meet your body's needs, right, everybody's needs are a little unique, everybody's story is a little bit unique and so, recognizing that you, like I kind of mentioned before, you are capable of knowing and meeting the needs of your own body.

Speaker 2:

And so once you start to connect and I think the simplicity of it kind of makes people like nervous because it sounds so simple but we don't realize you probably don't realize how much of a chaotic eater you are, or the word that kind of came up as you were talking earlier is rebellion.

Speaker 2:

Sometimes, when we're spending a lot of time taking care of others and we have all these other things that we're trying to be, you know, up to par on and we're trying to follow, for some reason food, food becomes like the way to rebel right To, to have some fun, to let loose, um, and it's it's, it's kind of an interesting, you know, rebellion is like a whole other topic. But identifying that we're not here to rebel against our bodies, the wellness industry, the diet industry, has given us such a strong message that our bodies are not good the way they are and so we have to change them and we get that message all the time. And I always tell women curate your noise, curate what's coming in, the best that you can. If anything makes you feel less than in your body, you don't need it because your body is good and it does good things and it's capable of good things and it doesn't need more punishment or shame. It needs more nurturing and nourishing. And once that mindset shifts, your choices begin to shift.

Speaker 1:

And also I am thinking about the stories that we learn and we have about, particularly stemming from childhood. I was always told to finish everything on my plate, and so that's obviously something which really gets ingrained into us. Are those stories that we have, I mean, at school, really gets ingrained into us? Are those stories that we have, I mean at school I? One reason I started eating so fast is I went to a boarding school and the more up, the quicker I ate, the more food I would have when I would like to eat as much as I could. So those that I imagine are so something which we've really got to get, get present with and aware of.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you're, you're so right. Those stories they they kind of turn into beliefs about ourselves, right? So a belief was like I wouldn't get enough food if I didn't eat fast. And a lot of women have these stories that are beliefs and their truths for them. So, for example, you have a story that I can't control myself around sweets for them. So, for example, you have a story that I can't control myself around sweets, yeah, and you have a lot of evidence that that is true for you. And we have to start shifting that story. And I always tell women shifted to what you want. So we don't have to be in the identity right now. It's.

Speaker 2:

I think affirmations are so interesting because we step into the I am statements and you're not even there, you're not even close. And I always love to add a bridge of I am committed to. So if you feel like I don't have, I lose control around suites, well, what if we could change the story to say you know, I I feel safe and confident around suites, I'm committed to feeling safe and confident around suites. 'm committed to feeling safe and confident around sweets. And then what we have to do is we have to start building evidence on this other side for that right. We have to start saying that. We have to start practicing that. Yes, I can practice having mindfulness with this treat and I can eat it slowly and carefully and cool. I just built one piece of evidence that this story can be true for me, when I know that I have a lot of evidence over here and we're just trying to tilt that scale.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes, absolutely love that. What is just to finish with? What's one wellness routine that is a non-negotiable for you in your life?

Speaker 2:

that is a non-negotiable for you in your life. Movement, movement for everyone, if you want to feel better in your body from day one, both physically and emotionally. Get more movement in your life and your body will begin to give you more cues that you can follow. So that is like I always tell people. It's so funny because I dive so much into nutrition and relationship with food, but I always say get movement and everything else will be easier.

Speaker 1:

I 100% agree, Absolutely. For me as well, it's movement. You've got to move your body and we're you know we're here to move. So yeah, I love that. Thank you so much, Elizabeth. It's been so lovely to chat to you. For anybody who would like to find out more about you, connect with you, where can they come?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so since we're on a podcast, I have my podcast called the woman of wellness podcast, and we dive into topics like relationship with food, body, healthy habits, um, so that's probably a good place to go. I, um, I'll send you that uh, mindful eating audio meditation, so anyone that wants to get that. It's just free and you can download it and use it whenever you want. Um, and then I'm semi-active on Instagram at a woman of wellness, so you can come over and say hi, I'm trying to do better over there, but, um, yeah, those are probably the best places to find me amazing.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much for joining me today. I've really loved chatting to you and, uh, yeah, it's given. It's brought up some stuff for me as well which I'm definitely going to put into practice. So so, thank you so much. Awesome. Thank you for having me. My pleasure.

Speaker 1:

I hope you enjoyed this episode as much as I did. There is definitely some takeaways for me in here and I really do encourage you to perhaps take one thing which Elizabeth mentioned and try and implement that into your own life. It might be mindful eating, it might be putting a boundary in place. Whatever it is, take it and put it into practice. Thank you so much for listening. It does mean the world. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other episode, I would be so grateful if you could rate this podcast, if you could subscribe and even leave a review. It literally takes moments, but it would mean the absolute world to me. You can find me over on Instagram at Polly Warren Coaching, or drop me an email info at pollywarrencom. That's all for this week. Have a wonderful rest of the week. Take lots of care. Lots of love, bye.