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Thursday Thoughts - Glimmers

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On this week's Thursday's Thoughts, Lucy and I are talking about glimmers.

We explain what glimmers are (and how they’re the opposite of triggers), why they matter, and how you can start spotting them in your everyday life.

We hope you find something useful, and even a little bit inspiring, in here.

Love Polly & Lucy xx

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Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome to Thursday Thoughts. Thursday Thoughts what on earth are they? I hear you ask. Well, my friend Lucy and I meet every week over on Instagram to talk all things personal growth, because she is as obsessed with it as I am, and we decided that we might as well put those conversations out as a weekly podcast. So now you can listen to us chat here on Apple Podcast or spotify or wherever you listen to your podcasts, and we'll be talking about topics such as spirituality, limiting beliefs, the ego imposter syndrome, gratitude, meditation, confidence and so much more.

Speaker 1:

So if you're ready, here we go right this morning we're talking about glimmers yeah, and I really love this subject, lucy, this subject, lucy, so much because I love glimmers and I love everything about them. So I don't know if you want to start.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I mean. So I just basically, yeah, it kind of popped into my head. When did we message? It was last night, wasn't it? And I was really struggling. I was like, oh God, what are we going to talk about? And then I suddenly thought of glimmers, and so so, for anyone who doesn't know they, they were actually the.

Speaker 2:

The term glimmers was actually coined by somebody called Deb Dana, who's an American woman and who has written a book about, like, nervous system regulation. I can't remember the name of it, but but I think if we, if we sort of start there, because ultimately, we're constant and you know all about this, because I mean, you look, you know a lot more about this than I do, but it's, it's this idea that we want to always be returning to our parasympathetic nervous system from, and, and one thing that I basically we always want to kind of be bringing our nervous system back into balance as much as we can, and so many of us have got completely dysregulated nervous systems without even realizing it, and this is obviously such a. It has such an impact on, on how we feel and how our lives are, and and our just our experience of life is so much about where we are on this and I learned this really, this really interesting way of thinking about it, which I which I haven't heard before is thinking of it as a ladder, thinking of these three kind of part, of these three kind of stages of our nervous system. So there's ventral, which is where we want to be, and then sympathetic and then dorsal. So ventral is where we always want to aim to come back to. But it basically works like a ladder and I found it really really useful to think about it like a ladder because, essentially, when you think about it like a ladder, it's really clear that we're constantly, all the time, 24-7, moving up and down this ladder. We're always somewhere on this ladder.

Speaker 2:

We're either in ventral or in sympathetic, or in dorsal. So ventral is where we want to be when our nervous system is regulated. Then there's sympathetic, which is when we're in that kind of fight or flight. Then there's sympathetic, which is when we're in that kind of fight or flight, and then further down, at the bottom rung of that ladder, is dorsal, which is where we are, you know, completely disconnected. We don't have any energy, we just feel just like well and can't, you know, can't be bothered, it's just really not feeling good, and so the thing about glimmers is that it's not just like, oh yeah, go and find something that brings you joy. It's actually so much more than that, because it's actually glimmers really help to move you back up the ladder, to that ventral part of our nervous system, that top rung, which is where, again, we want to spend most of our time. Uprung, which is where, again, we want to, we want to spend most of our time, but so many of us are constantly slipping right the way down the ladder, either in sympathetic or even further down into dorsal.

Speaker 2:

And glimmers are I know some people talk about them as being the opposite of triggers and we've talked about you know it. I suppose it does kind of speak to this idea of finding little things that bring us joy. It's kind of the same thing, but if you think of a glimmer as it can literally this is the great thing about glimmers they can literally be something that just for five seconds or 10 seconds makes you feel good and makes you feel safe and makes you feel regulated. And the more we try and find, the more we look for glimmers throughout our day and the more we get used to those moments of feeling good. Actually, we're kind of changing our set point for feeling good and we're enabling ourselves to to spend more time in that top rung of that ladder, in that ventral, that sort of parasympathetic state, which is what we want. And so, you know, glimmers can be anything from from, um, you know, just really enjoying your cup of coffee, just noticing how good it tastes and how delicious it is, or it can be. You know, I always use the example of my cat when I just look at him and just like stroke him and just like he's completely divine and he is like a glimmer in my life.

Speaker 2:

And there are various ways, there are so many ways that we can find glimmers.

Speaker 2:

You know, nature and actually one thing I I never thought of this, but you and I have talked about a lot about nature and how being in nature is so good for the nervous system.

Speaker 2:

It's just so good for our body, our mind, our spirit. And actually, if you live in the middle of a fucking great city, you can look at photos of nature and you can get the same reaction, you can get the same feeling and you can get the benefits just by looking at a picture. So if you're living in the middle of a city and you can't know, your window doesn't look out onto trees and fields and green. You can literally just look at a picture on the internet of nature and you can get the same benefits, which I think is really really cool. And and also one other thing just to say about glimmers is that we can also, you know, give other people glimmers by just simply, for example, smiling at somebody. Like if you smile at somebody when you walk past them in the streets, you are literally giving them a glimmer. So it's this idea that we can. We're looking for glimmers for ourselves, but we're also able to kind of share, share the glimmer yes, yeah, that is so cool.

Speaker 1:

I mean, yeah, it's it's really about just bringing ourselves back into that ventral, vagal state, that sort of really calm, connected state where we feel like, you know, that's where we can be creative, that's where everything was working and flowing as it should be, yeah and yeah when we go into the sympathetic, you know, and sometimes we need to go into that state because it keeps it, keeps us safe.

Speaker 1:

Or if we're in that sort of dorsal, vagal state where our nervous system is sort of in that freeze fawn place, then actually these little, these little glimmers, are such a great way of just returning us back and actually you'll notice you, your breath will suddenly change, it will slow down, it will be, you know, you're much, much calmer. It's a bit like you know, little breadcrumbs placed in your day to bring you back to that really nice, regulated, nice, happy state. And what was I going to say? Actually, I was going to say something then.

Speaker 1:

Oh gosh yeah because actually they are. These moments are happening anyway. These really the glimmers are happening, whatever. It's just our capacity and our ability to be able to notice them. Yeah, you don't have to go and look for miracles or for like these big things to happen. You don't have to go out into nature. You know they are happening everywhere, but it's can you tune, can we tune into them? Can we notice them? Yesterday, for example, I really didn't want to, but I had to go into town and take something back to a shop and it was like the last possible day I could do it, so I had to go in. So I went into, I was standing in Zara and I was in the really long queue and I was not really wanting to be there and I had. I saw this um, like this baby in a pram and this baby was so cute and I was just watching this baby. Parents were sort of busy doing something else and I just gave her a little smile. I just she was looking at me and she had this most amazing piercing blue eyes and I just gave her a little smile and her whole face just broke up into this amazing smile, like her face just beat and honestly it was just like oh my gosh, it was just you know nobody else knew it was happening apart from me and her, and that for me is like wow, that was a glimmer, because she was just it was

Speaker 1:

just we gave each other a little glimmer. She had a face break out and then in return, that gave something back to me and it was just such a joy seeing this little baby. You know, give me the biggest, juiciest smile at a time where actually I was a bit like, oh, I don't really want to be here doing this. So it's just about noticing, noticing them in the moment.

Speaker 1:

Another thing actually I've been banging on about recently at home, which I've loved, and maybe I don't know if this is, I don't know if this is this is a reflection of me just noticing more, or is it a reflection of me maybe getting older and just I don't know. But my goodness, maybe because we've got a slightly bigger garden than we've ever had before, I am noticing the birds in the garden. I absolutely love watching them. They come and peck at the grass and I've noticed they always normally come in twos. Honestly, lucy, it's giving me so much joy. They're constantly looking at the birds, banging on about the birds to everybody. My gosh, look, here they are, they're back no, I'm kidding, it gives me so much joy.

Speaker 2:

I completely, I'm completely, really, babe. I'm completely with you and and for me it's like it's it's first thing in the morning, when it's really super early, and on these amazing mornings where it's really light, at five o'clock it's already broad daylight and the birds are singing, and it's just that sound of. Should I tell you a funny bird story, though actually this was not a glimmer. Okay, this was my life this morning. I'll tell you what happened. So, woke up this morning, heard Johnny, my cat, crashing around. I was like, oh, jesus Christ, what is he up to now? He'd already given me an absolute heart attack because yesterday he disappeared for nearly 24 hours. He got back at 11 o'clock last night. I was literally, I just was anyway, that was a whole thing.

Speaker 2:

So this morning woke up crashing around, da-da-da-da-da. I was like, what the hell is he doing? This was at like 20 to 5. My alarm goes off at 4.59. So I I was still, you know, asleep and I got out of bed and kind of went around to the kitchen and he was fiddling with. He was doing something like I couldn't. I couldn't, basically, I was half asleep, so I couldn't see exactly what was going on, but I was just like, oh, he's just mucking around, god knows, got back into bed and then suddenly I heard him go towards the sofa, right. And basically you know that I'm living downstairs at my mum's at the moment, right? So what is he doing? And then out of the other end of the sofa came a fucking blackbird walking out from behind the sofa and I then literally was like I cannot tell you how many birds I've had to rescue a big, by the way, can I just say a big blackbird. You know they're quite big, right, this is a full grown male, adult blackbird. And I did.

Speaker 2:

I had cock-a-doodle-oo at six o'clock, my morning routine club, and as I did cock-a-doodle-oo, I could hear this noise in the like, you know, on the other side of the room thinking, please, thinking, please, please, please don't let this bird start flapping around in the middle of cock-a-doodle-doo. And luckily it didn't. And then, after cock-a-doodle-doo, I got rid of the bird. I managed to rescue it from Johnny and got it out. The, uh, got out the window. So there's a. Just sorry, I completely go off on a tangent, but just speaking of birds, that was my life this morning, this is the life of having Johnny there not?

Speaker 1:

Not a glimmer? I would say that's definitely not a glimmer.

Speaker 2:

The opposite of a glimmer. But yes, going back to birds and their amazingness, yeah, I do the same. In this garden there are lots of birds and you know like what a friend of mine recently told me about an app I can't even remember the name of it but things like you know, a glimmer can come in the form of the delicious smell of something cooking in the. You know, like I had a glimmer this morning when I ate my delicious protein rich breakfast, which was a three egg omelette with mushrooms and tomatoes and half an avocado Bloody delicious. I also had another glimmer as I used my little electric whisk to whisk up my protein powder and drink that.

Speaker 2:

That was a bit of a glimmer, like just silly things like that. But if you allow yourself to recognize those moments and again, it's not like we have to be sat there for 10 minutes going oh yes, okay, I'm having a glimmer it's like five or ten seconds is enough to give the body what it needs to kind of start moving back up that ladder, you know yeah, and it's just sometimes it's just a matter of you know where everyone is busy, but it is just slowing down enough to be able to notice it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, if you're, and I think the problem is, as I said, they're always there, these glimmers. It's just are you giving yourself that, that space, that capacity to actually even being able to notice it? So, and and the thing is you know it, it people like oh, but I'm so busy, but actually you can still get. You'll probably get more done if you just slow down a fraction, you appreciate and become really present to what is in your surroundings and what is going on, and that is going to give you that little boost of serotonin, probably, that little boost of like feeling good. It's going to help you return to that ventral, vagal, more regulated state, so you will be able to get on and achieve so much more. This has been the biggest revelation for me is you get more done just by slowing down and by giving yourself an opportunity to just be more present and notice more things, because otherwise you'll just feel like you're constantly, you're constantly racing, you're racing against yourself, you're racing against time, and it's just such a horrible way to live.

Speaker 1:

I've lived like that for most of my life, but learning that you can actually still get shit loads done but just be more present and notice, you know, the sun streaming through the windows, through one of my favorite things actually, I've got a whole little shelf of disco balls of varying sizes and in the evenings, when the sun well, late afternoon, the sun comes into the kitchen and it catches the, the disco balls and there's just like all these amazing lights, like being in a disco, coming off the walls. It's like, oh my goodness. The other one which I have, which everybody could do, is the moment I get into bed in the evening. In my bed I just was like, oh my god.

Speaker 2:

I love my bed, yeah.

Speaker 1:

I just love my bed so much, but it's just, it's just taking that second, yeah, just to register it, to notice it, and that's it, and then it can go, you don't?

Speaker 2:

have to like dwell on it.

Speaker 1:

It's just being grateful for it in that precise moment.

Speaker 2:

Exactly, and I'm going to say my favorite word it all comes down to awareness. It really does, because if we're not aware, then we're not going to notice, because you know, we have to be aware in order to notice. And also the other thing, the other thing is the kind of flip side of that is we, we need to start noticing when we are in that dorsal or sympathetic state. So we've got to be aware of when we're not feeling in balance. And you know that just by, do you feel anxious, do you feel worried, do you feel sad? Do you know? It's always your emotions and how you feel is always going to tell you, kind of, where you are on that ladder. So it's, it starts with noticing when you're out of balance so that you can then do something to bring yourself back into balance. And also you said, you know well, yes, we're all busy, but you know what? None of us are too busy for glimmers. None of us, because they don't have to take any time and they can literally be a part of your day.

Speaker 2:

Like you know, said earlier, walking down the street you give somebody a smile. They smile back. There's a glimmer right there that hasn't taken any time out of your day. There is no excuse for it, it's. It's just, it's just starting to notice those moments and notice those really little things. It can be just appreciating how fucking amazing clouds are. I sometimes look at clouds and go, oh my god, clouds are amazing. Do you know what I mean? Or going back to birds looking at a bird flying past the window oh my god, how amazing are birds. It sounds so silly, but it really is that that the these glimmers can be found in the smallest, smallest, tiniest things.

Speaker 2:

And I love your example of rather than getting into bed and just like not even thinking about how amazing it is, and just like lying there and then starting to let your mind wear about something that you're worried about, it's, it's that. It's an opportunity to just recognize. Let me just take a minute and enjoy this freaking moment. Let me just enjoy this moment just for five seconds, and then I can carry on worrying about whatever I was worrying about. You know, but it's, it's such an easy win and, ultimately, the more you can, the more you can, the more you can notice these things and the more that you can train your mind to find the glimmers, to look for them, the more you're going to find them, the more you're going to notice them and the better you're going to feel.

Speaker 2:

This is just everything you and I talk about. It all is going. You know, all rivers lead to the same ocean. We're trying to talk about things that that help us just feel better, because, ultimately, we all have the same fucking thing that we want to do All of us want to feel good. That's it. That's really what we're all looking for, and all the things that you and I talk about. That's really what it's about, isn't it? It's just. It's just doing things that that allow you just to feel a little bit better, so you just live a better life.